Learning...

The different between school and life is that in school, you are taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you are given a test that teaches you a lesson.

Resentment

Resentment"

I wish I could believe you then I'll be alright
But now everything you told me really don't apply
To the way I feel inside
Loving you was easy once upon a time
But now my suspicions of you have multiplied
And it's all because you lied

[Chorus:]
I only give you a hard time
'Cause I can't go on and pretend like
I haven't tried to forget this
But I'm much too full of resentment

Just can't seem to get over the way you hurt me
Don't know how you gave another who didn't mean a thing, no
The very thing you gave to me
I thought I could forgive you and I know you've changed
As much as I wanna trust you I know it ain't the same
And it's all because you lied

[Chorus:]
I only give you a hard time
'Cause I can't go on and pretend like
I haven't tried to forget this
But I'm much too full of resentment

I may never understand why
I'm doing the best that I can and I
I tried and I tried to forget this
I'm much too full of resentment

I'll always remember feeling like I was no good
Like I couldn't do it for you like your mistress could
And it's all because you lied

[Bridge:]
Loved you more than ever
More than my own life
The best part of me I gave you
It was sacrificed
And it's all because you lied

[Chorus:]
I only give you a hard time
'Cause I can't go on and pretend like
I tried and I tried to forget this
But I'm too damn full of resentment

I know she was attractive but I was here first
Been ridin' with you for six years why did I deserve
To be treated this way by you, you
I know your probably thinking what's up with Bee
I been crying for too long what did you do to me
I used to be so strong but now you took my soul
I'm crying cant stop crying cant stop crying
You could of told me that you wasn't happy
I know you didn't wanna hurt me
But look what you done-done to me now
I gotta look at her in her eyes and see she's had half of me
How could you lie


--It may have only been 6 months and not 6 years. I am still trying to work pass some things that have taken place. I don't want to be full of resentment...Praying everyday for some relief...this may take a while. It's not that I am holding on to it. The shit hurt just that bad.I'm sorry.

The Type of Love I'm Looking For...My Feelngs

Rev. Run once said, " Any dude can love 1000 girls, but it takes a gentlemen to love 1 woman 100 ways." Also, "Girls want to look perfect for a bunch of guys, a woman wants to look beautiful for 1 man."

I was to be at peace with everyone and everything so that everything and everyone will be at peace with me. I want to gain the courage to let someone love me.
I want to feel important. I want to cuddle at the appropriate times. I want to feel secure, safe and special. I want to be sincerely happy…If I am happy, you win. I want respect. I was a true reality, instead of a misleading dream. Just tell me the truth. I will respect you a whole lot more. I want to laugh. I want someone that will listen to me and actually respond with advice, help and support…even when I go on and on and on! I know that I am a little spoil…just accept it. Besides if I am as spoiled as you think I am, I will spoil my RIGHT man. I want a friend. I want to kick it…go to the park, mall, happy hour, the fun stuff, we can even watch ESPN, time is time. I want a nice guy that notices my effort and appreciates it and says so. I want to be appreciated. I want not to be taken for granted, if I give a lot and you are happy…please act as such.

Someone once told me if you like someone, let them know... if you love someone, let it show... don't hide those feelings, let yourself go…

My Everything by Monica

"My Everything" by Monica

I Ain't Never Had Nothing Quite Like This
And Can't Believe A Girl Done Made A Come Up Like This
Ain't Never Been In Love Like This Before
I Ain't Never Seen A Ring Shine Like This
I Ain't Never Had Nobody Fit Me Like This
I Can't Believe That All Of This Is Happenin To Me
If I'm Dreamin Let Me Sleep

Boy You
You Got My Back And Baby I Got Yours, You
You Got That Lovin That I Would Die For
Boy I've Been Waitin All This Time
And Livin With Nothing
But Now I Got

Now I Got Everything
I Got A Good Man
I'm Makin Weddin Plans Yeah
The One I Took Home To Mom And Dad
He Stole My Heart
Now I Got Everything
Someone Who Dont Cheat
Somebody Who Won't Leave Me Lonely
Even Though It Took A Lifetime To Get Here
Now I Finally
I Got Everything Its You

Never Had No One Go Half On A Baby
Someone To Do It Like I Like, Can Serve Me Daily
No One Ever Love Me Like This Before
I Never Had A House Feel Like A Home
I Never Had A Man That Was Full Grown (Like You)
Baby What'd I Do To Deserve You
I May Never Know
But I Know I Got You

You Got My Back And Baby I Got Yours, You
You Got That Lovin That I Would Die For
Boy I've Been Waitin All This Time
And Livin With Nothing
But Now I Got You

Now I Got Everything
I Got A Good Man
I'm Makin Weddin Plans Yeah
The One I Took Home To Mom And Dad
He Stole My Heart
Now I Got Everything
Someone Who Dont Cheat
Somebody Who Won't Leave Me Lonely
Even Though It Took A Lifetime To Get Here
Now I Finally See
I Got Everything Its You

Now That I Got You
I Never Wnana Lose You
I Love Everything You Do
Don't Wanna Live Without You
Just What I've Been Missin
All This Love I'm Givin
I Wouldnt Trade It For Nothin
My Everything Is You

Now I Got Everything
I Got A Good Man
I'm Makin Weddin Plans Yeah
The One I Took Home To Mom And Dad
He Stole My Heart
Now I Got Everything
Someone Who Dont Cheat
Somebody Who Won't Leave Me Lonely
Even Though It Took A Lifetime To Get Here
Now I Finally
I Got Everything Its You

--To the Silly by Denise Williams music--

I wanna feel like this about somebody some day...

Monthly Love Horoscope (Jan)

You know better than anybody that the realm of fantasy is a pretty powerful place. After all, what you imagine can become reality far more easily than what you can't imagine! But don't get too carried away on the 1st. Fantasize about what you'd like to see happen in your love life this year. But don't get so stuck in fantasy that you miss what's right in front of you, in reality. If a problem comes up between you two (again) on the 5th, make sure you resolve it before you move on (again), if you don't want to have to deal with this again (again). Your boss is getting on your nerves on the 10th. Don't take it out on your sweetie. Daydreaming will be particularly powerful on the 15th. And your fantasy partner might well just materialize on the 18th and 19th. Is that a love letter tucked into that bouquet of roses that arrived on your desk on the 23rd? Well, well! You do have a way with hearts, don't you! There's a lot more romance in store on the 28th. Don't worry on the 31st about things you can't figure out yet.

I am not a believer of horoscopes but I did find this quite interesting.We will see what happens this month.

Love, Romance, and Relationship Horoscope for Pisces 2010

Pisces Outlook for Year 2010 Romantic

Pisces has such a "sweetness and light" reputation when it comes to love and romance that you'd think they would be popular and sought-after mates all the time. Saturn's passage through your Partnership House during the last couple of years has been a challenging time that way; it may have been harder than usual to get a date, or (more likely) you may have had difficulty getting a long-term relationship to run properly. Thankfully, that process has ended now, and the less-than-rewarding times you've been through should prove to have simply cleaned the slate and made room for new romantic fulfillment!

If you are looking for new romance, there are two times in the next year where if you lay out the bait, you'll catch some attention. The first is January and February, when you will be in the spotlight among potential paramours. With little or no extra effort on your part, you'll simply be getting more attention. With a little assistance from you, that attention can be developed into the fire you're looking for! Secondly, May and June are a promising time for romantic pursuits.

If you are in a committed relationship, the challenges of the last couple of years may have shaken the foundations more than either of you are comfortable with. April through July will bring old issues into focus, but will also give you the opportunity to do some (possibly much-needed) repair work. Finally, August and September will give you the chance to test those repairs and to get it all running again as smoothly as you want. Enjoy it -- you've earned the good times to come

It Kills Me by Melanie Fiona

Oh yeah
I've got trouble with my friends
Trouble in my life
Problems when you don't come home at night
But when you do
You always start a fight
But I can't be alone
I need you to come on home

I know you messin around
But who da hell else is gonna hold me down

Oooh I gotta bo out my mind
To think it's gonna work this time
A part of me wants to leave
But the other side
Still believes

And it kills me
To know how much I really love you
So much I wanna hoo hoo hooo
To you hoo hoo

Should I grab his cell
Call this chick up
Start some shhh
And then hang up
Or should I be a lady
Ooh maybe cause I wanna have his baby

Ooh yea I don't wanna be alone
I don't need to be on my own
But I love this man
But some things
I just can't stand

Ooh I gotta be out my mind
To think it's gonna work this time
A part of me wants to leave
But the other side still believes

And it kills me
To know how much I really love you
So much I wanna hoo hoo hoo
To you hoo hoo

Should I play him back
To see how he'll react ooo
To see if he'll react to my love
My love

Ooh I gotta be out my mind
To think it's gonna work this time
A part of me wants to leave
But the other side still believes

And it kills me
To know how much I really love you
So much I wana hoo hoo hoo
To you hoo hoo

Ooh and it kills me
To know how much I really love you
So much I wana hoo hoo hoo
To you hoo hoo

Damn this song read volumes into my deepest thoughts. Glad to know that another real woman shares my thoughts and feelings. And someone said that real music is shot to hell. I know it kills me too. Glad I heard this song before I caught a case...so serious...

Footprints on the heart...

Some people come into our lives and quietly go. Other stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never the same.

Fed up--3 strikes and you're out

This is crazy and unnecessary. Why play games when you really want a person? Anything there is that needs to be worked out, should and can be handled with both parties willingly. If the point of this is for the both of us to find peace, then everything that has happened needs to be discussed--honestly. There is no time like the present to take care of this while you have the time. I have done everything in my power to keep you and given you options on way and things to do to keep me. I have moved on everything that I said I wasn't cause I really want to make this work. I said okay when you asked to do things in your own time for things to blow over and see that nothing has been done. I asked for certain individuals to be permanently removed and those individuals are still in your life. I asked for my position to be known to everyone and yet another individual has popped up that obviously did not know. None of my request have been feel so why should I grant any more yours. I have been flexible and adjusted to situations that cause for instant and immediate dismissal and termination of the relationship. In order for you to find peace, you need to change your ways. That is the only way that you will find peace. Changing your ways will also give me peace of mind.

Sincerely Yours,
SAK