Pain is temporary. Quitting is permanent!

Well, it has been a while since we last talked...yeah, yeah, I know but hey...

SO, life has definitely been kicking my butt...but I am not giving up. I have faith and I am working it...ShoutOut to Bishop...Faith without works is DEAD! I will not die without a fight...I am fighting tooth and nail for my worth...I am worth it!

Pain is temporary. Quitting is permanent!

I’m Fancy…yeah, I’m Fancy

“You say you dropping 10 lbs for summer…Don’t do it for dude, do it for you…Nails done, hair done, everything BIG”…Got to keep it all fresh, not for you but all for me. You are a bonus. You with me is a bonus. I’m always thing good with or without you…”Better late than never, but never late is better…They say that time is money, but we’ll spend it together” …Could not have said it better myself. “Never late is better” too bad that you aren’t here to spend this time with. You lose, therefore I will enjoy this time…my time…all mine…The truth…my truth….all in all, I learned a lesson from it tho, you never see it come, but you just get to see it go. You were absolutely right, I will thank you later…we, here goes, now is later, thanks….Holla. Miss me…I’m gone…You are too…Do Right And Kill Everything…love you words and thoughts…ShoutOut to Drake…

Reflection Time

Every now and again, I take time out to reflect on my life and different situation. This occurs sometimes daily. I have a really bad habit of replaying events, situations and conversations in my head time and time again. Since fall is soon to arrive, I figured it was about that time. As I think back to last year this time. I think “oh wow” how time flies and all the things that can happen in a year’s time… One of my current favorite songs says “…can’t get better if it don’t hurt” …what a year…thanking God for all the times He said or allowed the others to say “No” cause the “Yes” could have had me in some mess...Living, Learning, Loving and then Move on…

Grieving

Grieving!!!! I did not know that I was grieving, this explains a lot. No one died but my past two relationships are no longer here. Did you know that when you end a relationship a grieving process takes place. So as I had my midday and evening mentor session, depression and grieving were words that came up several times. I had to go and look up the steps to grieving. Check out the links…I know that I am not going through by myself.
Lord knows I am tired, I truly want to be past all of this. I know that I have to recognize that it’s ok to have these different feelings. I am going to give myself a break from some things, but I do not want to go through this alone. Now I have to refocus and take care of ME! I will think positively and Thank God all the while…This is going to be a process …Bear with me.
The BreakUp Blues: 7 Stages of Grief : http://www.examiner.com/x-12660-DC-Relationship-Psychology-Examiner~y2009m6d24-The-breakup-blues
Shock and Denial
Pain and Guilt
Anger and Bargaining
Depression and Loneliness
The Upward Turn
Reconstruction
Acceptance and Hope
After researching the steps, I realize where I am in this process…Definitely looking forward to “The Upward Turn”…During my current stage, I will be in deep prayer and meditation consistently forever. I will not allow anything or person to come between me and God. I will have to add that to my prayer list…Its time for me to have a conversation with God…got to run…be back tomorrow…same place…same time..Just another day in this life of mine…

Where do I begin?

Where do I begin??? It has been such a ride since this time last year…Well life has definitely taken place as time has passed. Found love and lost it twice since the last time we spoke. My hair is longer and colored, still at the same place of employment, Ladybug is a year older, added a few presentations to my CV, added another degree to my Resume and gained some work experience both professionally and personally. Man, (yes, I said Man, but not because I am from Memphis and every other Memphis person says it just cause that’s what came out.) I have learned , seen and experienced a lot since last year this time…happiness, heart aches, heart breaks, migraines, minor injuries and recoveries, friendship reconciliations and much more…I can say that I thank God for all my experiences, exposure and enlighten and cause without them I wouldn’t have experience and places to references. The events that will be discussed in this blog are from my perspectives and mine only…If you don’t like it done read it. #Unfollow

It’s a Beautiful Day

It’s a Beautiful Day

Life is a journey,
Not a destination,
There are no mistakes,
Just chances we’ve taken
Lay down your regrets cause all we have is now

Wake up in the morning
And get out of bed
Start making a mental list in my head
Of all of the things that I am grateful for

Early in the morning
It’s the dawn of a new day
New hopes new dreams new ways
I open up my eyes and
I open up my mind and
I wonder how life will surprise me today
Early in the morning
It’s the dawn of a new day
New hopes new dreams new ways
I open up my heart and
I’m gon’ do my part and
Make this a positively beautiful day

It’s a Beautiful Day
It’s a Beautiful Day
It’s a Beautiful Day

Life is a challenge not a competition
You can still smell the roses and be on a mission
Just take a moment to get in touch with your heart
Sometimes you feel like you’ve got something to prove
Remind yourself that there’s only one you
Just take a moment to give thanks of who you are
Early in the morning
It’s the dawn of a new day
New hopes, new dreams, new ways
I open up my eyes and
I open up my mind and
I wonder how life will surprise me today

Early in the morning
It’s the dawn of a new day
New hopes, new dreams, new ways
I open up my heart and
I’m gon’ do my part and
Make this a positively beautiful day

It’s a Beautiful Day
It’s a Beautiful Day

Let’s make this a wonderful
Let’s make this a powerful
Let’s make this a Beautiful Day
It’s a Beautiful Day

Life is a journey,
Not a destination,
There are no mistakes,
Just chances we’ve taken
Lay down your regrets cause all we have is now

Getting to know Round 2

I never read I just look at the pictures. I am not interested in money. I just want to be wonderful...So today has been just that...Wonderful...speechless and spellbound is me...I speak French now...We...lol...But I rather we speak Spanish for now cause I don't just want this to be a foreign fantasy...He says I really enjoy the time being spend.

To be continued...

So we replayed the first night all over again, we ride out to the same place in the same outfits add a movie and a snack, a trip to the mall and skip and a hop around with DMCs. I enjoyed myself too.This is not a love story. This is a story about love.Maybe the start of it anyway...

My book

I am the author of my life...Unfortunately, I'm writing in pen and I can not erase my mistake...but since I'm the author, I can create the next chapter and I can make the endings whatever I want!

Question of the day

After all this time what is it that we have other than all this time?

Catch me if you can...Shooting Star

So he says that he wants to fall in love with me...I ask why he says why not, we make a good team...but he wants to remain the owner and the coach of his team and add me to the roster...No sir, unless I can be the manager and I get all the perks as the coach...we can be co-owners or something. Why does he need a team when he got me...I am the STAR! ...So he has cut some members of the team...I'm thinking the fewer the better...I know he sees clearer now...

Different Kind of Day...

So today is like my 4th day off from FedEx cause of the foot/ankle sprain...Agenda for the day...Sleep pass 5:45am, therapy at 9:15am, recheck Drs appointment at 10:15, find some lunch, return to the Bluff, clean house, nap, dinner, blogging and facebooking throughout the day...everything after the drs appointment in no particular order...not a normal day in my planner but I can work it. MuzikLover was today's driver. My plans never work when I am under his supervision. So after the doctor we head to Wal-mart and Financial Aid...Wal-mart was for me to get my chickens...yummy thoughts until they didn't have it. So we tried this sweet and sour chicken..it was tasty but not as tasty as my chickens...(Yes I said my chickens)Next stop Financial aid, as he says that I look at him like "Do you know what time of the year it is? DO you have an appointment?" He looks at me and says " Baby, don't worry. You with me. I got you." I say "Ok. What my foot?" He says, " I got you." My next words, he mocks, " I know, you guess!" LOL...he thinks he knows me. By this time I am thinking this is going to be a interesting visit...I am not the most popular but everyone I take to visit thinks so cause I get stopped at least 10 times before I make it to where I am going. Never fails...I forgot that I was walking with Mr. NAC...He is worst than me but I think I got him beat at least by 4. He actually had to say damn cause of all the people, mostly guys that speak, hug, notice and have slick comments as I hop along...::Smile::So Mr. NAC uses his VIP status to get someone to give me there chair in Financial Aid, then we get behind the doors to see everyone that he wants to speak too and I am introduced as Ms. Knowlton and he is my Better Half...WOW...really...Someone should have told me...even though several of the people I was being introduced to already knew me as a half to a Dynamic Duo...I don't think that went over well with Mr. NAC...that's another story though...So we say bye cause he has to work and I am suppose to be back home by 2pm in order for him to make it work by 2:30. He decides to go to work and I drive "She" home and bring him her at lunch.I was actually shocked and I dont think he thought twice. Meanwhile can you play my administrative assistant and take care of a few phone calls and schedule my PRAXIS 2 for me...really?!?...Yea, I don't have anything else to do... Lunch time passes, no call, just a text " Guess i will be talking to you at 11:30 when you pick me up" So I say all this to say....
Today was a different kind of day in the sense that I spent all day with him and it was the best...the inside jokes, DMCs, hand holding, kisses, hugs, back rubbing, eye staring, all the cute stuff. I even talked to Angie B for an hour...this was a different kind of day...i like these days and hope and pray for more...Tomorrow will be day 2 of different kind of days...