Where do I begin?

Where do I begin??? It has been such a ride since this time last year…Well life has definitely taken place as time has passed. Found love and lost it twice since the last time we spoke. My hair is longer and colored, still at the same place of employment, Ladybug is a year older, added a few presentations to my CV, added another degree to my Resume and gained some work experience both professionally and personally. Man, (yes, I said Man, but not because I am from Memphis and every other Memphis person says it just cause that’s what came out.) I have learned , seen and experienced a lot since last year this time…happiness, heart aches, heart breaks, migraines, minor injuries and recoveries, friendship reconciliations and much more…I can say that I thank God for all my experiences, exposure and enlighten and cause without them I wouldn’t have experience and places to references. The events that will be discussed in this blog are from my perspectives and mine only…If you don’t like it done read it. #Unfollow

Learning...

The different between school and life is that in school, you are taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you are given a test that teaches you a lesson.

Getting to know Round 2

I never read I just look at the pictures. I am not interested in money. I just want to be wonderful...So today has been just that...Wonderful...speechless and spellbound is me...I speak French now...We...lol...But I rather we speak Spanish for now cause I don't just want this to be a foreign fantasy...He says I really enjoy the time being spend.

To be continued...

So we replayed the first night all over again, we ride out to the same place in the same outfits add a movie and a snack, a trip to the mall and skip and a hop around with DMCs. I enjoyed myself too.This is not a love story. This is a story about love.Maybe the start of it anyway...

Different Kind of Day...

So today is like my 4th day off from FedEx cause of the foot/ankle sprain...Agenda for the day...Sleep pass 5:45am, therapy at 9:15am, recheck Drs appointment at 10:15, find some lunch, return to the Bluff, clean house, nap, dinner, blogging and facebooking throughout the day...everything after the drs appointment in no particular order...not a normal day in my planner but I can work it. MuzikLover was today's driver. My plans never work when I am under his supervision. So after the doctor we head to Wal-mart and Financial Aid...Wal-mart was for me to get my chickens...yummy thoughts until they didn't have it. So we tried this sweet and sour chicken..it was tasty but not as tasty as my chickens...(Yes I said my chickens)Next stop Financial aid, as he says that I look at him like "Do you know what time of the year it is? DO you have an appointment?" He looks at me and says " Baby, don't worry. You with me. I got you." I say "Ok. What my foot?" He says, " I got you." My next words, he mocks, " I know, you guess!" LOL...he thinks he knows me. By this time I am thinking this is going to be a interesting visit...I am not the most popular but everyone I take to visit thinks so cause I get stopped at least 10 times before I make it to where I am going. Never fails...I forgot that I was walking with Mr. NAC...He is worst than me but I think I got him beat at least by 4. He actually had to say damn cause of all the people, mostly guys that speak, hug, notice and have slick comments as I hop along...::Smile::So Mr. NAC uses his VIP status to get someone to give me there chair in Financial Aid, then we get behind the doors to see everyone that he wants to speak too and I am introduced as Ms. Knowlton and he is my Better Half...WOW...really...Someone should have told me...even though several of the people I was being introduced to already knew me as a half to a Dynamic Duo...I don't think that went over well with Mr. NAC...that's another story though...So we say bye cause he has to work and I am suppose to be back home by 2pm in order for him to make it work by 2:30. He decides to go to work and I drive "She" home and bring him her at lunch.I was actually shocked and I dont think he thought twice. Meanwhile can you play my administrative assistant and take care of a few phone calls and schedule my PRAXIS 2 for me...really?!?...Yea, I don't have anything else to do... Lunch time passes, no call, just a text " Guess i will be talking to you at 11:30 when you pick me up" So I say all this to say....
Today was a different kind of day in the sense that I spent all day with him and it was the best...the inside jokes, DMCs, hand holding, kisses, hugs, back rubbing, eye staring, all the cute stuff. I even talked to Angie B for an hour...this was a different kind of day...i like these days and hope and pray for more...Tomorrow will be day 2 of different kind of days...

Hop Along, Tag Along

So today was quite different. It started different from most Monday morning...FedEx @ 5:30, sort and after sort duties, then to the Bluff to shower and change to head to the office...well this morning was more like a wake up about 7:45am, roll onto the bad foot, hop along to get ready for a training at the office. One wake up call instead of 3. My driver arrived SILENTLY! No real convo, just a little about the weather and shit. I prayed before their arrival that I would keep my mouth and actions to myself. Things are so different. There is distance between us that I really don't understand but I do.

SideBar: See there was sort of a "break up, not so break up" that happen about a month or so back between our foursome. We were together but not together kinda thing. "His girl had a girlfriend", which was my girlfriend. ..No Homo...but my bitches are always the cutest cuties...I miss here...anyway...Things seem to be one way but really weren't, kinda hard to explain but not so much...anyway...feelings got hurt because of some informed decisions. I tried to cushion the blows but got punched in the face cause I was in the way. I kept my mouth closed in hope that all would work out or they would part HAPPILY...

To be continued...

After training, left the office to find lunch to end up back the office to eat lunch in cafeteria. MuzikLover calls, which upsets da Gentleman...The beefin' about something now quite sure what the problem is. I wanna know, but I don't...ya know? Anywho, leave to head to the Bluff to wait until therapy session. At 3pm head to therapy, then back to the Bluff so that da Gentleman can head to the home of the Aristocrats to be an alumni. Its Monday and I get no mexican...this sucks...:pouting::Meanwhile, I download so Destiny's Child from back in the day. Share a song with SC#4, who stops by...much love, my love...for some DMC. She alwaus give Mama something to think about as she heads to her new Kingdom::wink, wink::( I pay attention;)Now I am trying to find a way to help MuzikLover...good night

Signed,
Another day in this wonderful life of mine while fighting a losing battle

Before I started this blog...

I was already "blogging" and didn't know it. My writing was my stress relief, a way I could say things that I really couldn't say. I was introduced to blogging by one of my siblingchild. I decided to add these entries, so here goes:

August 2, 2008 @ 2:03am

This shit is crazy. Why is it that niggas try to turn hoes into housewives, then get mad when the shit don't work. '' She don't have to be cute if she going? Wow!

Boredom is always with me. Why I wonder? No one can catch and keep my attention. Not the ones I try to give it to nor the ones who try to take it. I think it is so funny that someone would try to take my attention. However that is exactly what I need. Sweetheart has to go...there is no longer a need for him. My newest friend might just be the person to steal my attention at least from Sweetheat. However this school thing is a bit much for me right now. My newest friend, Hardest Working Man in Nashville might be the focus I need to finish this semester with a bang.

Graduation is a thought all in itself. I can see it now. I am not completely satisfied with myself but my plan B looks real good right now. I have to make it work for SC#1.

My SC#1...I just want to be a great guide for her. I want to show her the way to handle business and life. I know that I can't live it for her but I can try to shade her from careless mistake. Especially the ones I didn't make. I broke the generational cruse. If I can get her over that hump then all should be well. I must show her only through my faith did I succeed to where I am now.


August 3, 2008 @ 12:37am

It is so funny how words only seem to come only at night. I think it is so crazy. I am bored and trying to give my attention away. If only you knew how much I could do to you and for you...lol...

Can't understand normal thinking

August 4, 2008 @1:39 am

is how one guy describes women..I laughed and said that exactly what woman think of men...crazy huh...anyway...so this weekend has come and gone...little to no progress was made for me and mine. I have not tried any mind games but I think he is trying one on me.

I will pray again...maybe God is saying no for now...maybe later...IDK...I just want something I can call my own. Something made just for me by God cause the only thing that will last is something truly '' heaven sent'' I prefer God sent...lol...cause God is everywhere I am and not just in Heaven alone.

Brotherly relationships have been quite strange lately...me and my big mouth...and tough love...my mouth has always gotten my in for trouble than out and my tough love practices tend to hurt me more than the one who it intended for.

Out with the old and where is the new? IDK...OMG...Lol ::screaming:: is all I got to say...

August 5,2008 @ 1:29am

As we spoke today, a small flame inside of me began to grow . It warmed my starting to freeze again heart. It was crazy. Smiling for no reason...happy for no reason...all natural me is what you got today.

Then there is the Hardest working man in Nashville...someone other than my 2 or more knuckle headed brothers...I have way to many daddies...Rich Boy, Tutts, Muscle Man...

Muscle Man, 21 with the head of a born business man on his shoulders and a soul of a old man. I understand his thinking pattern but not of his matters at heart. I don't know whether to call him brother or friend. Never had a friend like him other than Army Man or BabyLove.

The world is like a mirror you see people in other peoples action that reflect something that you know that you have seen before.

12:38am on August 17, 2008

So since have started'' Project Get Over'' all over again today day 1. Yea, I thought about him and past events; however, I did not contact. No calls or texts, email or facebook.just thoughts...it's not over until God says it's over.I must scoot before I can crawl or walk. Thank you Lord for day 1! Forever, For Always, Just because...it is so true what they say...what goes around comes around. After I heard you say that it was your biggest fear. I thought deeper about the content of our conversation. You do what you do because you are spoil. Because you like the challenge of cleaning up your mess with less effort than it took to cause it. You wonder at what strength is the karma going to return? You wonder what will happen next? Who knows? Its easy to tell me no;however, its hard to tell yourself no.

I regret…

I regret stopping by familiarity
…speaking out of courteously
…allowing you to meet the family
…inviting you into my life, my home, my comfort zone, my heart and me
…giving you opportunity to share my dreams
…placing you on this pedestal
…thinking that you were the answer to the prayer I stop praying
…it all. Damn. I regret.
…trying not to regret
…trying to forget what it was like before you
…I regret, regretting.
This will be a good one for the book. Never had a regret before. You were the thing that made me regret the one before you. Hopefully the thing after you will make me FORGET you, instead of REGRET you.
Glad I love me more,
Bri

40 Runs West and East

40 Runs West and East....so I made that drive 40 west so pick up SiblingChild #1 and to make a change. SC #1 called me all day to make sure that I hadn't forgot about her. I even took SC #4 with me. ROADTRIP! Haven't hung out and had girl time and talk like that in a while. Made the trip there in 2 hours flat. First stop 1630, then 3795 and then grabbed some Dixie Queen with SC #1 and #4 With no intentions on seeing sweetheart, of course I called and he made the decision to met up. Had our regular sit and chat...this time it ended differently but similar than most encounters.Met up with my Braider and got the hair braid at the Memphis price with African quality! Grabbed my children and got back on 40 east. Singing, talking and riding...what a 24 hours! Needless to say Epiphanies happen during our talks about life, men and being happy! Are you an asset or liability? Do you compliment me? Can you make me feel secure and stable?!