Oprah speaks truth...

" You are not the product of your circumstances. You are a composite of all the things you believe, and all the places you believe you can go. Your past does not define you. You can step out your history and create a new day for yourself. Even if the entire culture is saying,'You can't'. Even if every single possible bad thing that can happen to you does, you can keep going forward."

Good Guys...

"Good guys make things happen, good guys get things done, make the work look easy, make the job seem fun, try a little harder, show the world their pride, celebrate the good stuff, take the rest in stride…

Good guys make a difference in their quiet way; seldom seem like heroes til they save the day, plan a little smarter, wisely wait to see what’s the best direction for their family…

Good guys do the right thing, care and pray a lot, never sweat the small stuff, give life their best shot, always go the distance, see their loved ones through.
Good guys make great fathers….good guys just like you!"

So awhile ago, I saw this in a Hallmark card and noted in Alex for future reference...I thought I used to know some guys with these qualities...Waiting for my "good guy"...

I’m Fancy…yeah, I’m Fancy

“You say you dropping 10 lbs for summer…Don’t do it for dude, do it for you…Nails done, hair done, everything BIG”…Got to keep it all fresh, not for you but all for me. You are a bonus. You with me is a bonus. I’m always thing good with or without you…”Better late than never, but never late is better…They say that time is money, but we’ll spend it together” …Could not have said it better myself. “Never late is better” too bad that you aren’t here to spend this time with. You lose, therefore I will enjoy this time…my time…all mine…The truth…my truth….all in all, I learned a lesson from it tho, you never see it come, but you just get to see it go. You were absolutely right, I will thank you later…we, here goes, now is later, thanks….Holla. Miss me…I’m gone…You are too…Do Right And Kill Everything…love you words and thoughts…ShoutOut to Drake…

Reflection Time

Every now and again, I take time out to reflect on my life and different situation. This occurs sometimes daily. I have a really bad habit of replaying events, situations and conversations in my head time and time again. Since fall is soon to arrive, I figured it was about that time. As I think back to last year this time. I think “oh wow” how time flies and all the things that can happen in a year’s time… One of my current favorite songs says “…can’t get better if it don’t hurt” …what a year…thanking God for all the times He said or allowed the others to say “No” cause the “Yes” could have had me in some mess...Living, Learning, Loving and then Move on…

It’s a Beautiful Day

It’s a Beautiful Day

Life is a journey,
Not a destination,
There are no mistakes,
Just chances we’ve taken
Lay down your regrets cause all we have is now

Wake up in the morning
And get out of bed
Start making a mental list in my head
Of all of the things that I am grateful for

Early in the morning
It’s the dawn of a new day
New hopes new dreams new ways
I open up my eyes and
I open up my mind and
I wonder how life will surprise me today
Early in the morning
It’s the dawn of a new day
New hopes new dreams new ways
I open up my heart and
I’m gon’ do my part and
Make this a positively beautiful day

It’s a Beautiful Day
It’s a Beautiful Day
It’s a Beautiful Day

Life is a challenge not a competition
You can still smell the roses and be on a mission
Just take a moment to get in touch with your heart
Sometimes you feel like you’ve got something to prove
Remind yourself that there’s only one you
Just take a moment to give thanks of who you are
Early in the morning
It’s the dawn of a new day
New hopes, new dreams, new ways
I open up my eyes and
I open up my mind and
I wonder how life will surprise me today

Early in the morning
It’s the dawn of a new day
New hopes, new dreams, new ways
I open up my heart and
I’m gon’ do my part and
Make this a positively beautiful day

It’s a Beautiful Day
It’s a Beautiful Day

Let’s make this a wonderful
Let’s make this a powerful
Let’s make this a Beautiful Day
It’s a Beautiful Day

Life is a journey,
Not a destination,
There are no mistakes,
Just chances we’ve taken
Lay down your regrets cause all we have is now

Long GoodBye

Now after the events have occurred, it's time to say goodbye...a "Long Goodbye" at that...It's been fun, but I have to now let go. Someone once said that the summer offers a luxury that the fall can not afford (or something like that)...this is so true. Same goes for the Winter loves that don't last because of the Spring flings. Just in case that fits your situation, this should too...You can make it a Long GoodBye and Blame It On Me as long as we say goodbye...Can't continue to play your fool...Holla

Long GoodBye

Mmhmmmm.....

I say I love you
You say that's kind
You don't wanna get too close
You loved me crazy
I lost my mind

Listen...

You're everything I never wanted
And all the things I didn't need
This ain't who I wanna be
You don't have to stay forever
I'll take passion over pride
Full moon, high tide
Let's make it a long goodbye
Tomorrow we'll pick up the pieces
Try to mend our broken lives
Soft kiss, sweet lies
Let's make it a long goodbye

Yeah...
I cried in silence
I lived through you
I've given everything away
And maybe I can learn to fall
For someone who can give me all
The things I"m not afraid to lose

Whenever you see lonely faces
That's where I'll be
Don't cry for me, no no no no
Don't cry for me, don't cry for me yeah yeahhhh

Hey, don't cry for me, no no no
I'm gonna be okay

This Too Shall Pass by India.Arie

This song could not be more appropriate for all the events, incidents, accidents and occurrences from the last 6 months...I am so glad that "This Too Shall Pass"...Enjoy

I achieved so much in life
But I’m an amateur in love
My bank account is doing just fine
But my emotions are bankrupt

My body is nice and strong
But my heart is in a million pieces
When the sun is shining so am I
But when the night falls so does my tears

Sometimes the beatings so loud in my heart
That I can barely tell our voices apart
Sometimes the fear is so loud in my head
That I can barely hear what God says

Then I hear a whisper that this too shall pass
I hear the angel’s whisper that this too shall pass
My ancestors whisper that this day one day will be the past
So I walk in faith that this too shall pass

The one that loved me the most
Turned around and hurt me the worse
I’m doing my best to move on
But the pain just keeps singing me songs

My head and my heart are at war
Cause love ain't happening the way I wanted
Feel like I’m about to break down
Can’t hear the light at the end of the tunnel

So I pray for healing in my heart
To be put back together what is torn apart
And I pray for quiet in my head
That I can hear clearly what God says

Then I hear the whisper that this too shall pass
I hear the Angels whisper that this too shall pass
My ancestors whisper that this day will one day be the past
So I walk in faith that this too shall pass

All of sudden I realize
That it only hurts worse to fight it
So I embrace my shadow
And hold on to the morning light

This Too Shall Pass
This Too Shall Pass
This Too Shall Pass
This Too Shall Pass
This Too Shall Pass
This Too Shall Pass
I hear the angels whisper
that trouble don't have to last always
I hear the angels whisper
Even the day after tomorrow will one day be yesterday.
I hear my angels whisper.
I hear my angels whisper.
This too shall pass.

It Kills Me by Melanie Fiona

Oh yeah
I've got trouble with my friends
Trouble in my life
Problems when you don't come home at night
But when you do
You always start a fight
But I can't be alone
I need you to come on home

I know you messin around
But who da hell else is gonna hold me down

Oooh I gotta bo out my mind
To think it's gonna work this time
A part of me wants to leave
But the other side
Still believes

And it kills me
To know how much I really love you
So much I wanna hoo hoo hooo
To you hoo hoo

Should I grab his cell
Call this chick up
Start some shhh
And then hang up
Or should I be a lady
Ooh maybe cause I wanna have his baby

Ooh yea I don't wanna be alone
I don't need to be on my own
But I love this man
But some things
I just can't stand

Ooh I gotta be out my mind
To think it's gonna work this time
A part of me wants to leave
But the other side still believes

And it kills me
To know how much I really love you
So much I wanna hoo hoo hoo
To you hoo hoo

Should I play him back
To see how he'll react ooo
To see if he'll react to my love
My love

Ooh I gotta be out my mind
To think it's gonna work this time
A part of me wants to leave
But the other side still believes

And it kills me
To know how much I really love you
So much I wana hoo hoo hoo
To you hoo hoo

Ooh and it kills me
To know how much I really love you
So much I wana hoo hoo hoo
To you hoo hoo

Damn this song read volumes into my deepest thoughts. Glad to know that another real woman shares my thoughts and feelings. And someone said that real music is shot to hell. I know it kills me too. Glad I heard this song before I caught a case...so serious...

Footprints on the heart...

Some people come into our lives and quietly go. Other stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never the same.

Fed up--3 strikes and you're out

This is crazy and unnecessary. Why play games when you really want a person? Anything there is that needs to be worked out, should and can be handled with both parties willingly. If the point of this is for the both of us to find peace, then everything that has happened needs to be discussed--honestly. There is no time like the present to take care of this while you have the time. I have done everything in my power to keep you and given you options on way and things to do to keep me. I have moved on everything that I said I wasn't cause I really want to make this work. I said okay when you asked to do things in your own time for things to blow over and see that nothing has been done. I asked for certain individuals to be permanently removed and those individuals are still in your life. I asked for my position to be known to everyone and yet another individual has popped up that obviously did not know. None of my request have been feel so why should I grant any more yours. I have been flexible and adjusted to situations that cause for instant and immediate dismissal and termination of the relationship. In order for you to find peace, you need to change your ways. That is the only way that you will find peace. Changing your ways will also give me peace of mind.

Sincerely Yours,
SAK

My book

I am the author of my life...Unfortunately, I'm writing in pen and I can not erase my mistake...but since I'm the author, I can create the next chapter and I can make the endings whatever I want!

If...

If - Destinys Child

Hop Along, Tag Along

So today was quite different. It started different from most Monday morning...FedEx @ 5:30, sort and after sort duties, then to the Bluff to shower and change to head to the office...well this morning was more like a wake up about 7:45am, roll onto the bad foot, hop along to get ready for a training at the office. One wake up call instead of 3. My driver arrived SILENTLY! No real convo, just a little about the weather and shit. I prayed before their arrival that I would keep my mouth and actions to myself. Things are so different. There is distance between us that I really don't understand but I do.

SideBar: See there was sort of a "break up, not so break up" that happen about a month or so back between our foursome. We were together but not together kinda thing. "His girl had a girlfriend", which was my girlfriend. ..No Homo...but my bitches are always the cutest cuties...I miss here...anyway...Things seem to be one way but really weren't, kinda hard to explain but not so much...anyway...feelings got hurt because of some informed decisions. I tried to cushion the blows but got punched in the face cause I was in the way. I kept my mouth closed in hope that all would work out or they would part HAPPILY...

To be continued...

After training, left the office to find lunch to end up back the office to eat lunch in cafeteria. MuzikLover calls, which upsets da Gentleman...The beefin' about something now quite sure what the problem is. I wanna know, but I don't...ya know? Anywho, leave to head to the Bluff to wait until therapy session. At 3pm head to therapy, then back to the Bluff so that da Gentleman can head to the home of the Aristocrats to be an alumni. Its Monday and I get no mexican...this sucks...:pouting::Meanwhile, I download so Destiny's Child from back in the day. Share a song with SC#4, who stops by...much love, my love...for some DMC. She alwaus give Mama something to think about as she heads to her new Kingdom::wink, wink::( I pay attention;)Now I am trying to find a way to help MuzikLover...good night

Signed,
Another day in this wonderful life of mine while fighting a losing battle

Before I started this blog...

I was already "blogging" and didn't know it. My writing was my stress relief, a way I could say things that I really couldn't say. I was introduced to blogging by one of my siblingchild. I decided to add these entries, so here goes:

August 2, 2008 @ 2:03am

This shit is crazy. Why is it that niggas try to turn hoes into housewives, then get mad when the shit don't work. '' She don't have to be cute if she going? Wow!

Boredom is always with me. Why I wonder? No one can catch and keep my attention. Not the ones I try to give it to nor the ones who try to take it. I think it is so funny that someone would try to take my attention. However that is exactly what I need. Sweetheart has to go...there is no longer a need for him. My newest friend might just be the person to steal my attention at least from Sweetheat. However this school thing is a bit much for me right now. My newest friend, Hardest Working Man in Nashville might be the focus I need to finish this semester with a bang.

Graduation is a thought all in itself. I can see it now. I am not completely satisfied with myself but my plan B looks real good right now. I have to make it work for SC#1.

My SC#1...I just want to be a great guide for her. I want to show her the way to handle business and life. I know that I can't live it for her but I can try to shade her from careless mistake. Especially the ones I didn't make. I broke the generational cruse. If I can get her over that hump then all should be well. I must show her only through my faith did I succeed to where I am now.


August 3, 2008 @ 12:37am

It is so funny how words only seem to come only at night. I think it is so crazy. I am bored and trying to give my attention away. If only you knew how much I could do to you and for you...lol...

Can't understand normal thinking

August 4, 2008 @1:39 am

is how one guy describes women..I laughed and said that exactly what woman think of men...crazy huh...anyway...so this weekend has come and gone...little to no progress was made for me and mine. I have not tried any mind games but I think he is trying one on me.

I will pray again...maybe God is saying no for now...maybe later...IDK...I just want something I can call my own. Something made just for me by God cause the only thing that will last is something truly '' heaven sent'' I prefer God sent...lol...cause God is everywhere I am and not just in Heaven alone.

Brotherly relationships have been quite strange lately...me and my big mouth...and tough love...my mouth has always gotten my in for trouble than out and my tough love practices tend to hurt me more than the one who it intended for.

Out with the old and where is the new? IDK...OMG...Lol ::screaming:: is all I got to say...

August 5,2008 @ 1:29am

As we spoke today, a small flame inside of me began to grow . It warmed my starting to freeze again heart. It was crazy. Smiling for no reason...happy for no reason...all natural me is what you got today.

Then there is the Hardest working man in Nashville...someone other than my 2 or more knuckle headed brothers...I have way to many daddies...Rich Boy, Tutts, Muscle Man...

Muscle Man, 21 with the head of a born business man on his shoulders and a soul of a old man. I understand his thinking pattern but not of his matters at heart. I don't know whether to call him brother or friend. Never had a friend like him other than Army Man or BabyLove.

The world is like a mirror you see people in other peoples action that reflect something that you know that you have seen before.

12:38am on August 17, 2008

So since have started'' Project Get Over'' all over again today day 1. Yea, I thought about him and past events; however, I did not contact. No calls or texts, email or facebook.just thoughts...it's not over until God says it's over.I must scoot before I can crawl or walk. Thank you Lord for day 1! Forever, For Always, Just because...it is so true what they say...what goes around comes around. After I heard you say that it was your biggest fear. I thought deeper about the content of our conversation. You do what you do because you are spoil. Because you like the challenge of cleaning up your mess with less effort than it took to cause it. You wonder at what strength is the karma going to return? You wonder what will happen next? Who knows? Its easy to tell me no;however, its hard to tell yourself no.

Unbearable

Mama: I just want to say that my heart hurts...I give up...I've given up...
SiblingChild: What? Why? Who hurt you?
Mama: Everyone
SiblingChild: Who? What happen?
Mama:The whole team...the entire team...so I've given up sports...the sport...of love
SiblingChild: I don't understand...
Mama: Me either...I quit!
Signed,
Defeated

I regret…

I regret stopping by familiarity
…speaking out of courteously
…allowing you to meet the family
…inviting you into my life, my home, my comfort zone, my heart and me
…giving you opportunity to share my dreams
…placing you on this pedestal
…thinking that you were the answer to the prayer I stop praying
…it all. Damn. I regret.
…trying not to regret
…trying to forget what it was like before you
…I regret, regretting.
This will be a good one for the book. Never had a regret before. You were the thing that made me regret the one before you. Hopefully the thing after you will make me FORGET you, instead of REGRET you.
Glad I love me more,
Bri

Replaceable

It is so funny how people this that they are irreplaceable when really they are replaceable. It is so crazy how that you can care for someone. You expect for them to care for you in return after all the time spent and other factors. Then all of a sudden things all change somewhat like overnight. That's cool cause what you won't do someone will. mad because I graduated before you, mad because I had a job in my field before I graduated, mad that I have my life in more order than yours...this is why and how you know that you are replaceable. I do not believe in place holders but in this case that is what you might have been. I would rather be courting instead of dating! Please note this! Thanks for being the one to prepare me for the next one who will be if not is already the better one for me. I hope that 24 East and 75 South treats you as well as 40 West did... To the left to the left...just like you left to the left...Bye!

40 Runs West and East

40 Runs West and East....so I made that drive 40 west so pick up SiblingChild #1 and to make a change. SC #1 called me all day to make sure that I hadn't forgot about her. I even took SC #4 with me. ROADTRIP! Haven't hung out and had girl time and talk like that in a while. Made the trip there in 2 hours flat. First stop 1630, then 3795 and then grabbed some Dixie Queen with SC #1 and #4 With no intentions on seeing sweetheart, of course I called and he made the decision to met up. Had our regular sit and chat...this time it ended differently but similar than most encounters.Met up with my Braider and got the hair braid at the Memphis price with African quality! Grabbed my children and got back on 40 east. Singing, talking and riding...what a 24 hours! Needless to say Epiphanies happen during our talks about life, men and being happy! Are you an asset or liability? Do you compliment me? Can you make me feel secure and stable?!

Loving the thought of love...

A fellow March baby wrote a note on facebook with this thought so I borrowed it because it matched exactly what I could not put into words. " I love the thought of love but fear the pain that comes alone with it." Lets just say the pain that could come along with the love is what I fear. I know that all love does not come with pain or heartache. I know that it is possible to be happy married or in a relationship because I know that someone is out there made for me. Especially for me! It is funny how I can mix and match people and council individuals on their relationship but can't build,fix or make one of my own! That has to be the dumbest mess that I have ever thought but it is so true...What am I to do? The one that was suppose to take my mind and thoughts away from the old drove me right back to him...Maybe I should just take this time as I did before to get all my things in order because God is still preparing "My Good Thing" for me!I swear if I could make a man at Wal-Mart I would so that I could take him back if he broke. ::laughing:: Sometimes you have to laugh to keep from crying.

I use to think that a educated, beautiful, successful Black woman in a healthy relationship wasn't possible but now that my Guide was well on her way into a healthy relationship and is truly glowing in bliss. I know that it is possible.

What makes a good girl go bad...

Here is a list of things that could make a good girl go bad:

1. Mistreating the attention and time of a good girl
2. Misuse of a good girl
3. Underestimating a good girl
4.