I am the hero in which this long poetic composition is centered upon, involving a series of great achievements or events that are narrated in elevated style! I am heroic; majestic and impressively great. The epic events of my war (life) are of unusually great size or extent...just watch and see joule this story ends.

Our Deepest Fear

Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate.
Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

It is our light not our darkness that most frightens us.

We ask ourselves, who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous,
talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?

You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There's nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other

people won't feel insecure around you.

We were born to make manifest the glory of
God that is within us.

It's not just in some of us; it's in everyone.

And as we let our own light shine,
we unconsciously give other people
permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear,
Our presence automatically liberates others.

—Marianne Williamson

Eyes wide open

As I lay here wondering when the sandman will come to visit, I think how fast time has came and gone. This year is almost over, 2010 is almost out of here...2011 doesn't know what it is about to get into. People have changed, places have changed, problems have came and gone...2010 has been a roller coaster ride...the thrills of the highs and lows...I don't know which way I prefer it best...I just thank God being constant all the while.

If I must say so myself

Ain't it something to have good news, then not be able to share it with someone? Well, today was that day for me. I have been seeking "break throughs" in life lately. Today one came and no one was there to share and/or celebrate it with me. My BFFs are not here, my Omega man has a cold or something, my birthday buddy had date nite, etc...you get the picture! So I just had to suck it up and say "Thank you, Lord! I am glad that you are always here with me! I am grateful even if I have to celebrate it with just You and me!" so I went to grab take out and a bottle of wine for my celebration with myself. Didn't even drink the wine, just ate and watched some tv. I figure I will have to get use to more nights like then with my new job and all...I didn't tell you what the good news was. I went on an interview last week and got the call back today to go for my drug test and background check on Monday! The Lord is still in the prayer answering business. He knows what's best for me and I am so glad. I sure do regret that certain individuals aren't here to celebrate with me. *Takes a moment of silence for him* Naw, he ain't dead. Just not where I am. Oh how I miss him *tear* *pause* *takes deep breath* at times I still can smell his scent and feel his arms, damn now is not the time for this anywho, A new chapter is about to develop in my life and an old one is concluding *smile* my mommy and sibling are coming tomorrow, maybe we will celebrate tomorrow...it still won't be anything like it would have been today tho....if I say so myself

For the 1st time in a long time

For the first time in a long time, I realized why people lose touch. My best friends have been my best friends for a while. And even though we don't talk every day, every week or once a month, I will still give them an organ without question. Well today, I contacted my high school sweetheart for the first time in a long time. We Facebook chatted for a minute, then Pooh called and we talked for over an hour. It felt just like old time...crazy, right! I know...anywho, then I started to remember why we stop dating...He is still the same ole Pooh, just older in physical age and a little more spiritual mature. But in essence he is still POOH. As I concluded the convo, he said his famous word...You are still my best friend and I got nothing but love for you...the only thing he didn't do was call me "Babygirl" or talk about "Shelia and Homeboy"...for the first time in a long time, I renegades what it was like before the last 2 came along...thank you, Pooh...this one is for you!

Pain is temporary. Quitting is permanent!

Well, it has been a while since we last talked...yeah, yeah, I know but hey...

SO, life has definitely been kicking my butt...but I am not giving up. I have faith and I am working it...ShoutOut to Bishop...Faith without works is DEAD! I will not die without a fight...I am fighting tooth and nail for my worth...I am worth it!

Pain is temporary. Quitting is permanent!

Breaking Point by Keri Hilson

Breaking Point Lyrics

Every woman, yeah
Every woman
Gotta limit yeah
Sang with me girl

Ladies, have you ever had a man who push you when you low
You wanna stay out at night, and don’t care how you feel
Instead of manin’ up, oh I said ooooooooooooo
I-I can’t concentrate, you so petty you
You stay touchin’ my last nerve, my friends say what’s wrong with you girl
I guess, what I’m really tryna to say is

Every woman has a breaking point ya’ll (breaking point)
Hey, I know you know, some women can be lied to
And cheated on, and beated on
Somebody know, heeeeeeyyyyy
Every woman has a breaking point ya’ll (breaking point)
Hey, hey, hey, hey, tell me why we put up with that
You can’t forget that, see I done did that
But this time, there’s a limit to my love
(There’s a limit, there’s a limit…there’s a limit, there’s a limit)
There’s a limit to my love
(There’s a limit, there’s a limit…there’s a limit, there’s a limit)
Now listen here

Now baby, don’t push me cuz I’m close to the edge
Today your baby momma called, said she boxin’ up yo sh!t (yo sh!t)
When you barely pleasin’ me, how you gon take care of yo kids
Now I gotta contemplate, I hate to say it but I wanted your last name
My momma said what’s wrong with you girl

Every woman has a breaking point ya’ll (breaking point)
(And I’m almost there I swear)
Hey, I know you know, some women can be lied to
And cheated on, and beated on
Somebody know, heeeeeeyyyyy
Every woman has a breaking point ya’ll (breaking point)
Hey, hey, hey, hey, some women let you keep em in check
Constantly disrespect, then show no regret
(Around here honey) there’s a limit to my love
(There’s a limit, there’s a limit…there’s a limit, there’s a limit)
http://www.elyricsworld.com/breaking_point_lyrics_keri_hilson.html
There’s a limit to my love
(There’s a limit, there’s a limit…there’s a limit, there’s a limit)

Now ladies, we really should be mad at ourselves
Cuz see, some women just tolerate way too damn much
Now I know we gotta choose our battles
But damn it, every woman gotta breaking point
And see the next time he’s testin’ yo love
You put your finger in his face and you tell him

Say my love has a limit (say my love has a limit)
Say my love has a limit (say my love has a limit)
Said if your love has a limit, girl (said if your love has a limit)
Say my love has a limit, yeah (say my love has a limit)

Say my love has a limit (my love has a limit)
Say my love has a limit (my love has a limit)
Said if your love has a limit, girl
Say my love has a limit now

Every woman has a breaking point ya’ll (breaking point)
Hey, I know you know, some women can be lied to
And cheated on, and beated on
Somebody know, heeeeeeyyyyy
Every woman has a breaking point ya’ll (breaking point)
Hey, hey, hey, hey, if you feel me put your hands up
If he ain’t man enough, girl if you had enough
Tell him, there’s a limit to my love
(There’s a limit, there’s a limit…there’s a limit, there’s a limit)
There’s a limit to my love
(There’s a limit, there’s a limit…there’s a limit, there’s a limit)

Statistics by Lyfe Jennings

Here is the video and the lyrics to Lyfe Jennings newest track...Quite interesting...listen to the truth in these lyrics...Hope you enjoy it cause I know I did...




Alright alright alright yall settle down settle down settle down.

If you don't know where you are this is STATISTICS 101

and I'm your teacher LYFE JENNINGS in the flesh baby.

Books out. Let's go!

25% of all men are unstable
25% of all men can't be faithful
30% of them don't mean what they say
and 10% of the remainin' 20 is gay



That leaves you a 10% chance of ever findin' your man
That means you better pay attention to these words that I say
I'm gonna teach you how expose the 90%
and show you what to do to keep the other 10.

Chorus:
RULE #1
Don't be a booty call,

If he don't respect you girl he gon' forget you girl,



NOW 2

If he's in a relationship

And he will cheat on her that means he will cheat on you.



RULE 3

Tell him that you're celibate

And if he wants some of your goodies he gon' have to work for it.



RULE 4

Be the person you wanna find

Don't be a nickel out here lookin' for a dime.



STATISTICS!



15% of all men got a complex

15% of all men dont practice safe sex

20% of them are from homes without a father

so there's a 50/50 chance that you'll marry a coward



Something to think about when you're takin' a shower

Something to swallow when you drank your bottled water



I'm gonna teach you how to expose the 90%

and show you what to do to keep the other 10



Chorus:

RULE #1

Don't be a booty call,

If he don't respect you girl he gon' forget you girl,
Find More lyrics at www.sweetslyrics.com



NOW 2

If he's in a relationship

And he will cheat on her that means he will cheat on you.



RULE 3

Tell him that you're celibate

And if he wants some of your goodies he gon' have to work for it.



RULE 4

Be the person you wanna find

Don't be a nickel out here lookin' for a dime.



Be patient! He's waiting!

You don't gotta settle for that

Leave all that stress alone!

Get you a backbone!

Stop being sorry for yourself!



Chances make champions

It's gonna take (patience)

Time is still (wastin')



Don't be a booty call

If he don't respect ya girl he gon forget ya girl

RULE 2

If he's in a relationship

If he will cheat on her that means he will cheat on you

RULE 3

Tell him that you're celibate

and if he wants some of your goodies he gon' have to work for it.

RULE 4

Be the person you wanna find

Don't be a nickel out here lookin' for a dime.



STATISTICS!

STATISTICS!

STATISTICS!

A Beautiful Day by India Arie

Life is a journey,
Not a destination,
There are no mistakes,
Just chances we've taken
Lay down your regrets cause all we have is now

Wake up in the morning
And get out of bed
Start making a mental list in my head
Of all of the things that I am grateful for

Early in the morning
It's the dawn of a new day
New hopes new dreams new ways
I open up my eyes and
I open up my mind and
I wonder how life will surprise me today
Early in the morning
It's the dawn of a new day
New hopes new dreams new ways
I open up my heart and
I'm gon' do my part and
Make this a positively beautiful day

La la la la la la la la la (x3)
It's a Beautiful Day (x3)

Life is a challenge not a competition
You can still smell the roses and be on a mission
Just take a moment to get in touch with your heart
Sometimes you feel like you've got something to prove
Remind yourself that there's only one you

[ From: http://www.metrolyrics.com/a-beautiful-day-lyrics-india-arie.html ]

Just take a moment to give thanks of who you are
Early in the morning
It's the dawn of a new day
New hopes, new dreams, new ways
I open up my eyes and
I open up my mind and
I wonder how life will surprise me today

Early in the morning
It's the dawn of a new day
New hopes, new dreams, new ways
I open up my heart and
I'm gon' do my part and
Make this a positively beautiful day

La la la la la la la la la (x3)
It's a Beautiful Day (x2)

Let's make this a wonderful
Let's make this a powerful
Let's make this a Beautiful Day
It's a Beautiful Day

Life is a journey,
Not a destination,
There are no mistakes,
Just chances we've taken
Lay down your regrets cause all we have is now

Somethings aren't fair...It will be okay!

I am so sorry...there is nothing fair or right about any of this... There is nothing I can say will make it okay... much as I wish it could... There is so much suffering and lost given these times we are in... You have got to believe that it is because of the time and not because of you that this is happening. I know it is true... because I know you... Your intelligence, your humor, your hard work, your attitude are a few of the reasons that I also know that you will get through this... And you know that I am hoping that happens sooner than later... So please when you’re ready, take heart...take care... And trust that everything will turn out okay.

Your heart...

You've got to follow your heart. A lot of people think that means jumping up to follow your dreams. But sometimes the best thing to do is give your heart time to weigh the situation and tell you which way to go. Don't rush. Be patient. You have a good heart. It will tell you what you need to know.

Take good care...

Life gets hectic, but the rest of this crazy world can wait...what matters is you, taking time, getting rested, feeling better. Take good care...

For my daughter's sake

Good Guys...

"Good guys make things happen, good guys get things done, make the work look easy, make the job seem fun, try a little harder, show the world their pride, celebrate the good stuff, take the rest in stride…

Good guys make a difference in their quiet way; seldom seem like heroes til they save the day, plan a little smarter, wisely wait to see what’s the best direction for their family…

Good guys do the right thing, care and pray a lot, never sweat the small stuff, give life their best shot, always go the distance, see their loved ones through.
Good guys make great fathers….good guys just like you!"

So awhile ago, I saw this in a Hallmark card and noted in Alex for future reference...I thought I used to know some guys with these qualities...Waiting for my "good guy"...

I’m Fancy…yeah, I’m Fancy

“You say you dropping 10 lbs for summer…Don’t do it for dude, do it for you…Nails done, hair done, everything BIG”…Got to keep it all fresh, not for you but all for me. You are a bonus. You with me is a bonus. I’m always thing good with or without you…”Better late than never, but never late is better…They say that time is money, but we’ll spend it together” …Could not have said it better myself. “Never late is better” too bad that you aren’t here to spend this time with. You lose, therefore I will enjoy this time…my time…all mine…The truth…my truth….all in all, I learned a lesson from it tho, you never see it come, but you just get to see it go. You were absolutely right, I will thank you later…we, here goes, now is later, thanks….Holla. Miss me…I’m gone…You are too…Do Right And Kill Everything…love you words and thoughts…ShoutOut to Drake…

Reflection Time

Every now and again, I take time out to reflect on my life and different situation. This occurs sometimes daily. I have a really bad habit of replaying events, situations and conversations in my head time and time again. Since fall is soon to arrive, I figured it was about that time. As I think back to last year this time. I think “oh wow” how time flies and all the things that can happen in a year’s time… One of my current favorite songs says “…can’t get better if it don’t hurt” …what a year…thanking God for all the times He said or allowed the others to say “No” cause the “Yes” could have had me in some mess...Living, Learning, Loving and then Move on…

More Than Enough

Chorus
Exceedingly, abundantly, above all that you could ask or think. Keep surprising me, overwhelming me, you keep blessing me

Verse
The same God, who it is for Abraham, You’re the same God that didn’t for Isaac If you did it back then, you will do it again say you are (more than enough for me)

You heard Jabez when he prayed for increase, you enlarged his territory-If he did it back then, he will do it again say you are (more than enough for me)

Lord I call you Jehovah Jireh you are God my provider, everything that I need you supply for me say you are (more than enough for me)

In the past you heard me when I cried and you saved me when I could have died, everything that I need you supply for me say you are (more than enough for me)

Desire is your pursuit

UPLIFT: The proof of desire is your pursuit. If you really want something you shouldn't have to tell others. They should see it in your pursuits. -Hart Ramsey

Another day in my life...

This weekend has been quite busy. I guess I will being with Friday's events. FedEx at 5:30, left by 9:30 to head to my regular scheduled hair appointment by 10, got a call to make some extra money and hours at FedEx, took care of that, went on break to take my mentor to the airport and then... Well, Ladybug had an accident. She will be out of commission for a while. Her replacement is quite nice, if I must say so. First, I need to thank God for the outcomes of the event: no injury to me, just soreness...this is a guarantee that I will get some rest. Insurance was paid up! Second to my marvelous mentor for coming to the accident site without hesitation & allowing me to drive Sweetness until I got the rental! I love you and don't know what I would do without you. I owe you MAJOR. Third, thank you goes to my little sister for getting in touch with my Memphis family when I could not! Fourth, thanks goes out to my birthday buddy for coming to my rescue too. I know I was a little out of it but you still came with your calming spirit. Thank you! Love you very much. So after my first accident, everything fell into place with no error....tow truck came, body shop was open and ready, Kendall got to the airport for her flight in time & got back to work with 15 mins to spare....then Saturday got up early to take care of business, got to the beauty shop and went to hang with the girls in Murfreesboro in the rain and storm. Then Sunday was awesome...Bishop preached to my soul as usual...God has truly anointed Bishop...Words can not do justice to Sunday morning service, you just have to see for yourself... Mount Zion Anywhere .... Then I napped and went to watch the FedEx guys play pool...this has definitely been a weekend for the books...I start my new job tomorrow....God has been so good to me...Lord, I am not going to allow the little thing to stress me anymore...you deserve all the PRaiSE!

10 Things

'ten things I want to say to a Black woman' by Joshua Bennett

1. i wish i could put your voice in a jar. wait for those lonely winter nights when i forget what god sounds like run to the nearest maximum security prison and open it.
watch the notes bounce off the walls like ricochet bullets etching keyholes into the sternums of every brother in the room skeletons opening rose blossom beautiful to remind you that the way to a black mans' heart is not through his stomach, it is through the heaven in your hello. the echo of my ? galaxy that pounces forth through you vocal chords, and melts ice grills into oceans, baptising our lips, until harsh words fade from our memories, and we forget why we stopped calling you divine in the first place.

2. when i was born, my mothers' smile was so bright it knocked the air form my lungs. and i haven't been able to breath right since. its something about the way light dances off of your teeth. the way the moon gets jealous when you mock her crescent figure with the shape of your mouth, queen. you make the sky insecure. self conscious ? stare at your face every morning, and realize that the ? of her skin was painted by that symphony doing cartwheels on your tongue.

3. who else can make kings out of bastards. turn a ?? into a floor full of gifts in a kitchen, that's ????
and my sister, was a blacksmith. who when she put fire and metal and made kitchen miracles at 15.

making ??? to feed a little boy who didn't have the words to see how much she meant to him back then ???

4. your skin reminds me of everything beautiful i have ever known. the color of ink on a page, the earth we walk on, and the cross ?? saviour.

5. i've seen you crucified too. spread out on billboards to be spiritually impaled by millions of men with eyes like nails. made ??? of your daughters. so i'm sorry for the music videos, for justin timberlake at the superbowl, and the young man on the corner this morning. when you just want to shed your flesh and become invisible. never doubt, they only insult us because... men are confused. we're trained to destroy or conquer everything we see from birth.

6. if i ever see don imus in public i'll punch him in the face. one time, for every member of the rutgers and tennessee womens basketball teams. then i'll show him a picture of phylicia rashad, assata shakur, eartha kitt, my mother, my grandmother, my 7 year old neice whose got eyes like fire bombs, and then dare him to tell me that Black women are only beautiful in one shade of skin.

7. you are like a sunrise in a nation at war. you remind people that there is always something worth waking up to.

8. when we are married i will cook. wash the dishes, and whatever else it will take to let you know that traditional gender roles have no place in the home we build. so my last name is an option. babysitting the kid s a treat we split equally and our bed, where i'll construct altars of wax on the small of your back. we make love like the sky is falling. moving, to the rhythm of bedsprings and bel biv devoe and angels, calling to us. saying this, is the way it was meant to be.

9. my daughter, my daughter will know her fathers' face from the day she is born. and i can only pray that this superman complex lasts long enough, for me to deflect the pain this world will aim at her from the moment she's old enough to realize that the color brown is still not considered human most places. my daughter will have a smile like a wheelchair, so even when i am at my worst, when the cryptonite of this putrid planet threatens to render me grounded, the light dancing off of her teeth, will transfer the shards of my broken body into heart-shaped blackbirds, taking flight on wind that reminds me of my ???, of my daughters' smile, of my mothers' laugh when i was in her womb.

10. never stop pushing. this world needs you now more than ever.

Order My Steps

Chorus 1
Order my steps in Your word dear Lord,
lead me, guide me everyday,
send Your anointing, Father I pray;
order my steps in Your word,
please, order my steps in Your word.

Verse 1
Humbly, I ask Thee to teach me Your will,
while You are working, help me be still,
Satan is busy, but my God is real;
order my steps in Your word,
please, order my steps in Your word.

Verse 2
Briddle my tongue let my words edify,
let the words of my mouth be exceptable in Thy sight,
take charge of my thoughts both day and night;
please order my steps in Your word,
please order my steps in Your word.

Bridge
I want to walk worthy,
my calling to fulfill.
Please order my steps Lord,
and I'll do Your blessed will.
The world is ever changing,
but You are still the same;
if You order my steps, I?ll praise Your name.

Vamp
Order my steps in Your word.
Order my tongue in Your word.
Guide my feet in Your word.
Wash my heart in Your word.
Show me how to walk in Your word.
Show me how to talk in Your word.
When I need a brand new song to sing,
show me how to let Your praises ring,
in Your word, in Your word.

Chorus 2
Please order my steps in Your word,
please order my steps in Your word.

Ending
Please order my steps in Your word.

If to fulfill your purpose

“Father, if this problem, pain, sickness, or circumstance is needed to fulfill your purpose and glory in my life or in another’s, please DON’T take it away.”
— The surrender prayer taken from the Purpose, Driven Life by Rick Warren.

A Reason, A Season, or a Lifetime

A Reason, a Season, or a Lifetime

People come into your life for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. When you figure out which one it is, you will know what to do for each person.

When someone is in your life for a REASON . . . It is usually to meet a need you have expressed. They have come to assist you through a difficulty, to provide you with guidance and support, to aid you physically,emotionally, or spiritually. They may seem like a godsend, and they are! They are there for the reason you need them to be.

Then, without any wrong doing on your part, or at an inconvenient time, this person will say or do something to bring the relationship to an end. Sometimes they die. Sometimes they walk away. Sometimes they act up and force you to take a stand.
What we must realise is that our need has been met, our desire fulfilled, their work is done. The prayer you sent up has been answered. And now it is time to move on.

When people come into your life for a SEASON . . .Because your turn has come to share, grow, or learn. They bring you an experience of peace, or make you laugh. They may teach you something you have never done. They usually give you an unbelievable amount of joy. Believe it! It is real! But, only for a season.

LIFETIME relationships teach you lifetime lessons; things you must build upon in order to have a solid emotional foundation. Your job is to accept the lesson, love the person, and put what you have learned to use in all other relationships and areas of your life. It is said that love is blind but friendship is clairvoyant.

Author Unknown

Closer

Verse I:
Oh Lord I felt your presence when I open my eyes this morning
I remember how we started the day together,
Somehow it drifted on
I need to feel your presence all through the day,
Sometimes I get weak and I want to stray

Chorus:
So I start all over again
Please Lord give me another chance
Today I want to be closer to you than I've ever been before (3x second time)

Verse II:
Oh Lord, it's my desire just to please You in all, in all that I do
Lord I want to walk like You, yes, I want to talk just like You
I want to live holy just like You tell me to
Oh there are times I must admit I fall a little short of your word
That's the times I call running and crying Lord help me just to make it,
Just to make it through

Chorus:

Vamp:
I want to be closer to you
Today I want to be closer to You than I've ever been before
Than I've ever been before
Than I've ever been before

Reasonably Happiness

Reasonably Happiness is what I want, really. Today was a good, a Praise and Worship Day...missed it a little less today, hurt a little less today...I'm tired...good night

God's Chosen-Love Medley

I Need Your Glory LORD

I need your glory
I want your glory
Less of me and more of you
is what I need

Show me you glory
show me your power
less of me and more of you
is what I need

So many times I tries my way,
but all of the pain didn't go away
I realize that only you
could give me this love that is so true

Come Ye Disconsolate...Earth has no sorrow that Heaven can not heal!

Verse:
Come ye disconsolate, where'er ye languish your mind.
Come to the mercy seat, fervently kneel;
here bring your wounded hearts, here tell your anguish,
earth, oh, has no sorrow that heaven cannot heal.

Bridge:
Here speaks the Comforter,
tenderly say, saying that
earth, oh, has no sorrows
that heaven cannot heal.

Earth has no sorrows
that heaven cannot heal.

If you can have it, God can heal it,
If there's a void, God can fill it.

If you can have it, God can heal it,
If there's a void, God can fill it.

If you can have it, God can heal it,
If there's a void in your life, God can fill it.

Vamp 1:
If you can have it, God can heal it,
If you can't have it, oh God can.

Vamp 2:
God can heal it, yes, He can.
God can heal it, oh, God can.

Vamp 3:
God can heal it,
God can heal it,
God can heal it, oh God...

Ending:
Earth has no sorrows
that heaven cannot heal.

Only One Wall Away

Do what you can and believe God for the things you can not! Today's sermon was so timely. I could have screamed throughout the entire sermon. Only One Wall Away! I have been in deep prayer and mediation for God to give me some comfort in my current life situations. He used Bishop as a vessel of hope for me. Now I can walk as if the wall is already down and the rubbish is at my feet. There is nothing like affirmation about a thing! God is Good!

Happy Sunday,
~ Bri

What A Day...

Today was an in the house day...It was an up and down type of day... Emotional Roller-coaster would be an understand statement...I know that this process is coming along because I feel the changes. I just pray that I do not become a true bitch in the process. I feel like I want and need to be emotionless once this is over or at least during the process. i woke up with all intentions of getting out of my bed, cleaning house and organizing life. I only got half of that done, but hey I had to start some where. I got out of my bed and moved to my couch, added some dates to my planner and iCal and placed a few things in the trash. I did actually leave the house about 9pm...ShoutOut to my SiblingChild #1 and PA Karen for the dinner and drinks...so needed that. As for the remainder of the day before 9pm, I searched for blogs, did some Facebook chatting, tweeted and listened to a few songs, reset some privacy settings and lounged for the day. Then about 2pm, a ray of sunshine entered my place and I began to think about how much of a great and resourceful person I am! (Figured that it was just one of those up moments cause it was). Another moment like that came to me about 11:30pm, after my "Walk Me Down", I felt better about the entire "situation" at hand. Here is what I have to say:

You are a complete dumb ass for thinking that you are smarter than me. You are a complete loser for thinking that you can make me feel less of a person. I am beautiful inside and out...have you seen me? Even on a bad day, I have a smile that lights up the world. I am cuter than your current choice and past choice put together. You thought you where upgrading or did you take the first available offer. Get it together. How can you secure someone else? You do not even have yourself together enough. You could have been man enough to say that you could not handle my "professionalism" in and outside the house. Grown up...age is nothing but a number. You can keep your excuses to why things are the way that they are because you yourself are an excuse and excuses I can do without. Excuses are tools of incompetence building monuments to nothingness on pillars of insubstantialities
Those that employ this theory or its practices are seldom capable of anything! For that, you LOSE!

I am brilliant and wonderfully made because God made me that way. I love Him and He loves me. I owe Him everything and not only do I praise Him for the things that he has blessed me with, I praise Him for the things, people and places that He has taken from me. I am not "sometiming", like you. How you only gone be grateful for the things that He gives you? That is between you and Him. As for your quick fix, I am glad I helped while I could. But He knew that I needed time to focus more on my business at hand, instead of completely focusing on you and your issues. I try to be a problem solver, but clearly I am not certified in that area either. Now while I am down and out because you are not here, I should be grateful, that He is and will always be. What I need is stability, consistency, compassion and understanding in my life and from this you can not offer anything but a placeholder...I have pillows for that. I will politely take this more than slight discomfort for now. I know that my comfort will be in my stability, consistency, compassion and understanding that will come sooner than I think. So THANK YOU again for not being ready for me as a woman,friend, girlfriend,confidant, shoulder to cry on, mother to your children, etc. You have only help to prepare me for the man that God is preparing for me. So for every tear that I cried in front of you and the ones that I cried only, that was yesterday and today...tomorrow will be better, I promise you that. I know that everyday won't be sunshine, but it is all a part of the process, so I will take that until this process of over and complete.

A Process

First of all, let me start by sending a Shoutout to my mentor. She is the best, she offers different perspective on everything from simple to complex. If you don't have one, I suggest you get one! Cant have mine tho, I keep her busy enough. Today is definitely a caterpillar type of day, which is cool. You have to start somewhere. I would rather start this process like a caterpillar does and mature into a butterfly. The process of a caterpillar is amazing and I realized a while ago that only God can be in charge of these type of transformations. I love God! He is all knowing, all seeing, all judging, all EVERYTHING. So when I realize or feeling I am having caterpillar type of days, I know that this is all apart of a process, my process! Taking the good with the not so good. If I have to go through this to get where I want to be, let's go! God is my pilot and I know that He will see me safely through!

Laughter is good for the soul!

Today was a good day...I laughed for the first time in a long time...forreal. It felt great! My soul needed a good laugh and God provided it in several ways. First at lunch with my crew, then at work through convo with some old friends. I thank God for the people around me. They are positive, popping and pretty people inside and out. #ShoutOut to My Mentor for the cutest summer dress, makeup and accessories today. I see you, Kendall! #ShoutOut to my Prince for keeping his appointment and accomplishments thus far...more to come! God is working on some things for me and the people around me...thank you, Lord for the process! Remember sometime you have to laugh until you cry or laugh to keep from crying, either way...is your choice, just Laugh!

Grieving

Grieving!!!! I did not know that I was grieving, this explains a lot. No one died but my past two relationships are no longer here. Did you know that when you end a relationship a grieving process takes place. So as I had my midday and evening mentor session, depression and grieving were words that came up several times. I had to go and look up the steps to grieving. Check out the links…I know that I am not going through by myself.
Lord knows I am tired, I truly want to be past all of this. I know that I have to recognize that it’s ok to have these different feelings. I am going to give myself a break from some things, but I do not want to go through this alone. Now I have to refocus and take care of ME! I will think positively and Thank God all the while…This is going to be a process …Bear with me.
The BreakUp Blues: 7 Stages of Grief : http://www.examiner.com/x-12660-DC-Relationship-Psychology-Examiner~y2009m6d24-The-breakup-blues
Shock and Denial
Pain and Guilt
Anger and Bargaining
Depression and Loneliness
The Upward Turn
Reconstruction
Acceptance and Hope
After researching the steps, I realize where I am in this process…Definitely looking forward to “The Upward Turn”…During my current stage, I will be in deep prayer and meditation consistently forever. I will not allow anything or person to come between me and God. I will have to add that to my prayer list…Its time for me to have a conversation with God…got to run…be back tomorrow…same place…same time..Just another day in this life of mine…

Where do I begin?

Where do I begin??? It has been such a ride since this time last year…Well life has definitely taken place as time has passed. Found love and lost it twice since the last time we spoke. My hair is longer and colored, still at the same place of employment, Ladybug is a year older, added a few presentations to my CV, added another degree to my Resume and gained some work experience both professionally and personally. Man, (yes, I said Man, but not because I am from Memphis and every other Memphis person says it just cause that’s what came out.) I have learned , seen and experienced a lot since last year this time…happiness, heart aches, heart breaks, migraines, minor injuries and recoveries, friendship reconciliations and much more…I can say that I thank God for all my experiences, exposure and enlighten and cause without them I wouldn’t have experience and places to references. The events that will be discussed in this blog are from my perspectives and mine only…If you don’t like it done read it. #Unfollow

Back to the Basics

So it has been a long time since I actually visited my blog, let alone visited my very first blog…shout out to the one, who introduced me to this last year…It’s been a while but I am back now… Home is where the heart is, you never forget the thing, the place or the people that comforted you when you feel the most discomfort. Bear with me…it’s been a while and I have a lot to say… Back to the Basics like Yo Gotti...guess I should have a Gangsta Party...that might make me feel better...I am willing to try anything at this point...I got nothing but time and me...

Invictus

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishments the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

Unthinkable

So this songs so speaks to exactly how and what I am feelings...All I can say is this is different, very different and I like it and it likes me...I'm Ready...I'm Ready to do the Unthinkable

Unthinkable
Verse 1:

Moment of honesty
Someone's gotta take the lead tonight
Whose it gonna be?
I'm gonna sit right here
And tell you all that comes to me
If you have something to say
You should say it right now
(Drake: You should say it right now)

You ready?

Bridge:

You give me a feeling that I never felt before
And I deserve it, I think I deserve it
(Drake: I deserve it, I think it deserve it..Let it go)
It's becoming something that's impossible to ignore
And I can't take it
(Drake: I can't take it)

Chorus-Alicia & Drake:

I was wondering maybe
Could I make you my baby
If we do the unthinkable would it make us look crazy
If you ask me I'm ready
(Echo: I'm ready, I'm ready)
If you ask me I'm ready
(Echo: I'm ready, I'm ready)

Verse 2:
I know you once said to me
"This is exactly how it should feel when it's meant to be"
Time is only wasting so why wait for eventually?
If we gon' do something 'bout it
We should do it right now
(Drake: We should do it right now)

Bay, uh

Bridge:

You give me a feeling that I never felt before
And I deserve it, I know I deserve it
(Drake: I deserve it, I know I deserve it. Let it go)
Its becoming something that's impossible to ignore
It's what we make it
(Drake: It's what we make it)

Chorus-Alicia & Drake:

I was wondering maybe
Could I make you my baby
If we do the unthinkable would it make us look crazy
Or would it be so beautiful either way I'm sayin'
If you ask me I'm ready
(Echo: I'm ready I'm ready)
If you ask me I'm ready
(Echo: I'm ready)

Yeah, sing...

Hook:

Why give up before we try
Feel the lows before the highs
Clip our wings before we fly away
I can't say I came prepared
I'm suspended in the air
Won't you come be in the sky with me

Chorus-Alicia & Drake:

I was wondering maybe
Could I make you my baby
If we do the unthinkable would it make us look crazy
Or would it be so beautiful either way I'm sayin'
If you ask me I'm ready
(Echo: I'm ready, I'm ready)
If you ask me I'm ready
(Echo: I'm ready, I'm ready)

Even Angels

Fantasia Even Angels...speaks for it self...
-Verse 1
I'm driving in circles
should have bought that new phone
I can't find my way to
all the places I call home

I'm
(on my own)
I'm at the station pumping gas
yea
I'm taking out the trash
I'm
(all alone)

And whose there
Whose there

-Bridge
Since you been gone
I learned how to move on
how to be myself
I don;t need nobody's help
I'm doing so good
I forgot that I could
Live like this
Ohh

-Chorus
First step
take a deep breath
you don't need a reason why
you can
you can
take take time
you can
you can
walk, run, dive
Close call
think you might fall
but all you gotta do is try
even angels
even angels
learn to fly


-Verse 2
coming home in this late night
should have left the lights on
i can't help but image all the things
that could go wrong

I'm
(on my own)
I'm in the kitchen
on the chair
reaching for the top shelf
I'm
(all alone)
and I'm okay
I'm alright

-Bridge
-Chorus

-Breakdown
Everyday im stronger
it can't get better
if it if it
don't hurt
why why
(OOh why)
see me in my next life
heartbreak's a teacher
and now
I love ah love ah
little bit deeper
why oh why (oh why)

Running Out of Fools

So i was getting mentored today about matters of the heart and RKM told me to download a few songs, listen to them 8 times straight threw and by the 3 time, i will be screaming and crying, the tears will dry up and the healing will begin. So i figured since I had tried everything else and nothing seemed to work but pray, Gospel music and time, why not try to speed up this process. Here is the first song off the list...more where this came from. powerful lyrics...Running Out of Fools by Aretha Franklin 1964

Sure you haven't got the wrong number
You sure its me you wanna talk to tonight?
Everyone in town's got your number
Everybody's got you pegged right

Is that why yu got in touch with me?
I guess you must be runnin' out of fools

When you went and left me there crying
Your goodbye was even colder than ice
It didn't bother you I was crying
And now you wanna break my heart twice

Is that why you got in touch with me?
I guess you must be runnin' out of fools

Guess you got back (guess you got)
To my name
In your little black book

Well, listen
Tell you what (tell you what)
Bet you forgot (you forgot)
How I even look

So go ahead with all your sweet talking
Go ahead for all the good it can do
Have yourself a dime's worth of talking
And then I'm gonna hang right up on you

'Cause this time, you're not
You're not getting through to me
I guess you must be runnin' out of fools

Even fools like me
Even fools like me
I said you're running out of fools
Even old fools like me

It’s a Beautiful Day

It’s a Beautiful Day

Life is a journey,
Not a destination,
There are no mistakes,
Just chances we’ve taken
Lay down your regrets cause all we have is now

Wake up in the morning
And get out of bed
Start making a mental list in my head
Of all of the things that I am grateful for

Early in the morning
It’s the dawn of a new day
New hopes new dreams new ways
I open up my eyes and
I open up my mind and
I wonder how life will surprise me today
Early in the morning
It’s the dawn of a new day
New hopes new dreams new ways
I open up my heart and
I’m gon’ do my part and
Make this a positively beautiful day

It’s a Beautiful Day
It’s a Beautiful Day
It’s a Beautiful Day

Life is a challenge not a competition
You can still smell the roses and be on a mission
Just take a moment to get in touch with your heart
Sometimes you feel like you’ve got something to prove
Remind yourself that there’s only one you
Just take a moment to give thanks of who you are
Early in the morning
It’s the dawn of a new day
New hopes, new dreams, new ways
I open up my eyes and
I open up my mind and
I wonder how life will surprise me today

Early in the morning
It’s the dawn of a new day
New hopes, new dreams, new ways
I open up my heart and
I’m gon’ do my part and
Make this a positively beautiful day

It’s a Beautiful Day
It’s a Beautiful Day

Let’s make this a wonderful
Let’s make this a powerful
Let’s make this a Beautiful Day
It’s a Beautiful Day

Life is a journey,
Not a destination,
There are no mistakes,
Just chances we’ve taken
Lay down your regrets cause all we have is now

Long GoodBye

Now after the events have occurred, it's time to say goodbye...a "Long Goodbye" at that...It's been fun, but I have to now let go. Someone once said that the summer offers a luxury that the fall can not afford (or something like that)...this is so true. Same goes for the Winter loves that don't last because of the Spring flings. Just in case that fits your situation, this should too...You can make it a Long GoodBye and Blame It On Me as long as we say goodbye...Can't continue to play your fool...Holla

Long GoodBye

Mmhmmmm.....

I say I love you
You say that's kind
You don't wanna get too close
You loved me crazy
I lost my mind

Listen...

You're everything I never wanted
And all the things I didn't need
This ain't who I wanna be
You don't have to stay forever
I'll take passion over pride
Full moon, high tide
Let's make it a long goodbye
Tomorrow we'll pick up the pieces
Try to mend our broken lives
Soft kiss, sweet lies
Let's make it a long goodbye

Yeah...
I cried in silence
I lived through you
I've given everything away
And maybe I can learn to fall
For someone who can give me all
The things I"m not afraid to lose

Whenever you see lonely faces
That's where I'll be
Don't cry for me, no no no no
Don't cry for me, don't cry for me yeah yeahhhh

Hey, don't cry for me, no no no
I'm gonna be okay

This Too Shall Pass by India.Arie

This song could not be more appropriate for all the events, incidents, accidents and occurrences from the last 6 months...I am so glad that "This Too Shall Pass"...Enjoy

I achieved so much in life
But I’m an amateur in love
My bank account is doing just fine
But my emotions are bankrupt

My body is nice and strong
But my heart is in a million pieces
When the sun is shining so am I
But when the night falls so does my tears

Sometimes the beatings so loud in my heart
That I can barely tell our voices apart
Sometimes the fear is so loud in my head
That I can barely hear what God says

Then I hear a whisper that this too shall pass
I hear the angel’s whisper that this too shall pass
My ancestors whisper that this day one day will be the past
So I walk in faith that this too shall pass

The one that loved me the most
Turned around and hurt me the worse
I’m doing my best to move on
But the pain just keeps singing me songs

My head and my heart are at war
Cause love ain't happening the way I wanted
Feel like I’m about to break down
Can’t hear the light at the end of the tunnel

So I pray for healing in my heart
To be put back together what is torn apart
And I pray for quiet in my head
That I can hear clearly what God says

Then I hear the whisper that this too shall pass
I hear the Angels whisper that this too shall pass
My ancestors whisper that this day will one day be the past
So I walk in faith that this too shall pass

All of sudden I realize
That it only hurts worse to fight it
So I embrace my shadow
And hold on to the morning light

This Too Shall Pass
This Too Shall Pass
This Too Shall Pass
This Too Shall Pass
This Too Shall Pass
This Too Shall Pass
I hear the angels whisper
that trouble don't have to last always
I hear the angels whisper
Even the day after tomorrow will one day be yesterday.
I hear my angels whisper.
I hear my angels whisper.
This too shall pass.

Learning...

The different between school and life is that in school, you are taught a lesson and then given a test. In life, you are given a test that teaches you a lesson.

Resentment

Resentment"

I wish I could believe you then I'll be alright
But now everything you told me really don't apply
To the way I feel inside
Loving you was easy once upon a time
But now my suspicions of you have multiplied
And it's all because you lied

[Chorus:]
I only give you a hard time
'Cause I can't go on and pretend like
I haven't tried to forget this
But I'm much too full of resentment

Just can't seem to get over the way you hurt me
Don't know how you gave another who didn't mean a thing, no
The very thing you gave to me
I thought I could forgive you and I know you've changed
As much as I wanna trust you I know it ain't the same
And it's all because you lied

[Chorus:]
I only give you a hard time
'Cause I can't go on and pretend like
I haven't tried to forget this
But I'm much too full of resentment

I may never understand why
I'm doing the best that I can and I
I tried and I tried to forget this
I'm much too full of resentment

I'll always remember feeling like I was no good
Like I couldn't do it for you like your mistress could
And it's all because you lied

[Bridge:]
Loved you more than ever
More than my own life
The best part of me I gave you
It was sacrificed
And it's all because you lied

[Chorus:]
I only give you a hard time
'Cause I can't go on and pretend like
I tried and I tried to forget this
But I'm too damn full of resentment

I know she was attractive but I was here first
Been ridin' with you for six years why did I deserve
To be treated this way by you, you
I know your probably thinking what's up with Bee
I been crying for too long what did you do to me
I used to be so strong but now you took my soul
I'm crying cant stop crying cant stop crying
You could of told me that you wasn't happy
I know you didn't wanna hurt me
But look what you done-done to me now
I gotta look at her in her eyes and see she's had half of me
How could you lie


--It may have only been 6 months and not 6 years. I am still trying to work pass some things that have taken place. I don't want to be full of resentment...Praying everyday for some relief...this may take a while. It's not that I am holding on to it. The shit hurt just that bad.I'm sorry.

The Type of Love I'm Looking For...My Feelngs

Rev. Run once said, " Any dude can love 1000 girls, but it takes a gentlemen to love 1 woman 100 ways." Also, "Girls want to look perfect for a bunch of guys, a woman wants to look beautiful for 1 man."

I was to be at peace with everyone and everything so that everything and everyone will be at peace with me. I want to gain the courage to let someone love me.
I want to feel important. I want to cuddle at the appropriate times. I want to feel secure, safe and special. I want to be sincerely happy…If I am happy, you win. I want respect. I was a true reality, instead of a misleading dream. Just tell me the truth. I will respect you a whole lot more. I want to laugh. I want someone that will listen to me and actually respond with advice, help and support…even when I go on and on and on! I know that I am a little spoil…just accept it. Besides if I am as spoiled as you think I am, I will spoil my RIGHT man. I want a friend. I want to kick it…go to the park, mall, happy hour, the fun stuff, we can even watch ESPN, time is time. I want a nice guy that notices my effort and appreciates it and says so. I want to be appreciated. I want not to be taken for granted, if I give a lot and you are happy…please act as such.

Someone once told me if you like someone, let them know... if you love someone, let it show... don't hide those feelings, let yourself go…

My Everything by Monica

"My Everything" by Monica

I Ain't Never Had Nothing Quite Like This
And Can't Believe A Girl Done Made A Come Up Like This
Ain't Never Been In Love Like This Before
I Ain't Never Seen A Ring Shine Like This
I Ain't Never Had Nobody Fit Me Like This
I Can't Believe That All Of This Is Happenin To Me
If I'm Dreamin Let Me Sleep

Boy You
You Got My Back And Baby I Got Yours, You
You Got That Lovin That I Would Die For
Boy I've Been Waitin All This Time
And Livin With Nothing
But Now I Got

Now I Got Everything
I Got A Good Man
I'm Makin Weddin Plans Yeah
The One I Took Home To Mom And Dad
He Stole My Heart
Now I Got Everything
Someone Who Dont Cheat
Somebody Who Won't Leave Me Lonely
Even Though It Took A Lifetime To Get Here
Now I Finally
I Got Everything Its You

Never Had No One Go Half On A Baby
Someone To Do It Like I Like, Can Serve Me Daily
No One Ever Love Me Like This Before
I Never Had A House Feel Like A Home
I Never Had A Man That Was Full Grown (Like You)
Baby What'd I Do To Deserve You
I May Never Know
But I Know I Got You

You Got My Back And Baby I Got Yours, You
You Got That Lovin That I Would Die For
Boy I've Been Waitin All This Time
And Livin With Nothing
But Now I Got You

Now I Got Everything
I Got A Good Man
I'm Makin Weddin Plans Yeah
The One I Took Home To Mom And Dad
He Stole My Heart
Now I Got Everything
Someone Who Dont Cheat
Somebody Who Won't Leave Me Lonely
Even Though It Took A Lifetime To Get Here
Now I Finally See
I Got Everything Its You

Now That I Got You
I Never Wnana Lose You
I Love Everything You Do
Don't Wanna Live Without You
Just What I've Been Missin
All This Love I'm Givin
I Wouldnt Trade It For Nothin
My Everything Is You

Now I Got Everything
I Got A Good Man
I'm Makin Weddin Plans Yeah
The One I Took Home To Mom And Dad
He Stole My Heart
Now I Got Everything
Someone Who Dont Cheat
Somebody Who Won't Leave Me Lonely
Even Though It Took A Lifetime To Get Here
Now I Finally
I Got Everything Its You

--To the Silly by Denise Williams music--

I wanna feel like this about somebody some day...

Monthly Love Horoscope (Jan)

You know better than anybody that the realm of fantasy is a pretty powerful place. After all, what you imagine can become reality far more easily than what you can't imagine! But don't get too carried away on the 1st. Fantasize about what you'd like to see happen in your love life this year. But don't get so stuck in fantasy that you miss what's right in front of you, in reality. If a problem comes up between you two (again) on the 5th, make sure you resolve it before you move on (again), if you don't want to have to deal with this again (again). Your boss is getting on your nerves on the 10th. Don't take it out on your sweetie. Daydreaming will be particularly powerful on the 15th. And your fantasy partner might well just materialize on the 18th and 19th. Is that a love letter tucked into that bouquet of roses that arrived on your desk on the 23rd? Well, well! You do have a way with hearts, don't you! There's a lot more romance in store on the 28th. Don't worry on the 31st about things you can't figure out yet.

I am not a believer of horoscopes but I did find this quite interesting.We will see what happens this month.

Love, Romance, and Relationship Horoscope for Pisces 2010

Pisces Outlook for Year 2010 Romantic

Pisces has such a "sweetness and light" reputation when it comes to love and romance that you'd think they would be popular and sought-after mates all the time. Saturn's passage through your Partnership House during the last couple of years has been a challenging time that way; it may have been harder than usual to get a date, or (more likely) you may have had difficulty getting a long-term relationship to run properly. Thankfully, that process has ended now, and the less-than-rewarding times you've been through should prove to have simply cleaned the slate and made room for new romantic fulfillment!

If you are looking for new romance, there are two times in the next year where if you lay out the bait, you'll catch some attention. The first is January and February, when you will be in the spotlight among potential paramours. With little or no extra effort on your part, you'll simply be getting more attention. With a little assistance from you, that attention can be developed into the fire you're looking for! Secondly, May and June are a promising time for romantic pursuits.

If you are in a committed relationship, the challenges of the last couple of years may have shaken the foundations more than either of you are comfortable with. April through July will bring old issues into focus, but will also give you the opportunity to do some (possibly much-needed) repair work. Finally, August and September will give you the chance to test those repairs and to get it all running again as smoothly as you want. Enjoy it -- you've earned the good times to come

It Kills Me by Melanie Fiona

Oh yeah
I've got trouble with my friends
Trouble in my life
Problems when you don't come home at night
But when you do
You always start a fight
But I can't be alone
I need you to come on home

I know you messin around
But who da hell else is gonna hold me down

Oooh I gotta bo out my mind
To think it's gonna work this time
A part of me wants to leave
But the other side
Still believes

And it kills me
To know how much I really love you
So much I wanna hoo hoo hooo
To you hoo hoo

Should I grab his cell
Call this chick up
Start some shhh
And then hang up
Or should I be a lady
Ooh maybe cause I wanna have his baby

Ooh yea I don't wanna be alone
I don't need to be on my own
But I love this man
But some things
I just can't stand

Ooh I gotta be out my mind
To think it's gonna work this time
A part of me wants to leave
But the other side still believes

And it kills me
To know how much I really love you
So much I wanna hoo hoo hoo
To you hoo hoo

Should I play him back
To see how he'll react ooo
To see if he'll react to my love
My love

Ooh I gotta be out my mind
To think it's gonna work this time
A part of me wants to leave
But the other side still believes

And it kills me
To know how much I really love you
So much I wana hoo hoo hoo
To you hoo hoo

Ooh and it kills me
To know how much I really love you
So much I wana hoo hoo hoo
To you hoo hoo

Damn this song read volumes into my deepest thoughts. Glad to know that another real woman shares my thoughts and feelings. And someone said that real music is shot to hell. I know it kills me too. Glad I heard this song before I caught a case...so serious...

Footprints on the heart...

Some people come into our lives and quietly go. Other stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never the same.

Fed up--3 strikes and you're out

This is crazy and unnecessary. Why play games when you really want a person? Anything there is that needs to be worked out, should and can be handled with both parties willingly. If the point of this is for the both of us to find peace, then everything that has happened needs to be discussed--honestly. There is no time like the present to take care of this while you have the time. I have done everything in my power to keep you and given you options on way and things to do to keep me. I have moved on everything that I said I wasn't cause I really want to make this work. I said okay when you asked to do things in your own time for things to blow over and see that nothing has been done. I asked for certain individuals to be permanently removed and those individuals are still in your life. I asked for my position to be known to everyone and yet another individual has popped up that obviously did not know. None of my request have been feel so why should I grant any more yours. I have been flexible and adjusted to situations that cause for instant and immediate dismissal and termination of the relationship. In order for you to find peace, you need to change your ways. That is the only way that you will find peace. Changing your ways will also give me peace of mind.

Sincerely Yours,
SAK