Reflection Time

Every now and again, I take time out to reflect on my life and different situation. This occurs sometimes daily. I have a really bad habit of replaying events, situations and conversations in my head time and time again. Since fall is soon to arrive, I figured it was about that time. As I think back to last year this time. I think “oh wow” how time flies and all the things that can happen in a year’s time… One of my current favorite songs says “…can’t get better if it don’t hurt” …what a year…thanking God for all the times He said or allowed the others to say “No” cause the “Yes” could have had me in some mess...Living, Learning, Loving and then Move on…

My Everything by Monica

"My Everything" by Monica

I Ain't Never Had Nothing Quite Like This
And Can't Believe A Girl Done Made A Come Up Like This
Ain't Never Been In Love Like This Before
I Ain't Never Seen A Ring Shine Like This
I Ain't Never Had Nobody Fit Me Like This
I Can't Believe That All Of This Is Happenin To Me
If I'm Dreamin Let Me Sleep

Boy You
You Got My Back And Baby I Got Yours, You
You Got That Lovin That I Would Die For
Boy I've Been Waitin All This Time
And Livin With Nothing
But Now I Got

Now I Got Everything
I Got A Good Man
I'm Makin Weddin Plans Yeah
The One I Took Home To Mom And Dad
He Stole My Heart
Now I Got Everything
Someone Who Dont Cheat
Somebody Who Won't Leave Me Lonely
Even Though It Took A Lifetime To Get Here
Now I Finally
I Got Everything Its You

Never Had No One Go Half On A Baby
Someone To Do It Like I Like, Can Serve Me Daily
No One Ever Love Me Like This Before
I Never Had A House Feel Like A Home
I Never Had A Man That Was Full Grown (Like You)
Baby What'd I Do To Deserve You
I May Never Know
But I Know I Got You

You Got My Back And Baby I Got Yours, You
You Got That Lovin That I Would Die For
Boy I've Been Waitin All This Time
And Livin With Nothing
But Now I Got You

Now I Got Everything
I Got A Good Man
I'm Makin Weddin Plans Yeah
The One I Took Home To Mom And Dad
He Stole My Heart
Now I Got Everything
Someone Who Dont Cheat
Somebody Who Won't Leave Me Lonely
Even Though It Took A Lifetime To Get Here
Now I Finally See
I Got Everything Its You

Now That I Got You
I Never Wnana Lose You
I Love Everything You Do
Don't Wanna Live Without You
Just What I've Been Missin
All This Love I'm Givin
I Wouldnt Trade It For Nothin
My Everything Is You

Now I Got Everything
I Got A Good Man
I'm Makin Weddin Plans Yeah
The One I Took Home To Mom And Dad
He Stole My Heart
Now I Got Everything
Someone Who Dont Cheat
Somebody Who Won't Leave Me Lonely
Even Though It Took A Lifetime To Get Here
Now I Finally
I Got Everything Its You

--To the Silly by Denise Williams music--

I wanna feel like this about somebody some day...

Footprints on the heart...

Some people come into our lives and quietly go. Other stay for a while and leave footprints on our hearts and we are never the same.

Getting to know Round 2

I never read I just look at the pictures. I am not interested in money. I just want to be wonderful...So today has been just that...Wonderful...speechless and spellbound is me...I speak French now...We...lol...But I rather we speak Spanish for now cause I don't just want this to be a foreign fantasy...He says I really enjoy the time being spend.

To be continued...

So we replayed the first night all over again, we ride out to the same place in the same outfits add a movie and a snack, a trip to the mall and skip and a hop around with DMCs. I enjoyed myself too.This is not a love story. This is a story about love.Maybe the start of it anyway...

My book

I am the author of my life...Unfortunately, I'm writing in pen and I can not erase my mistake...but since I'm the author, I can create the next chapter and I can make the endings whatever I want!

Question of the day

After all this time what is it that we have other than all this time?

Bishop's Helpful Hints

Live in the overflow
I don't live in my right now, I live in my not yet.

Right relationships
Platform for people to hear you.
Others can trust you
Positions you to role model
Magnet for vision that God gave
Position myself to bless others
Position for promotion

God will only bless you only as far as your character can sustain you.

Radical request: pray for the space before the "thing"; downgrade my vision: upgrade me: when God enlarges me...
You can't be big, if little got you
Hang in there: perserve
You get wisdom through personal experience, not only through God. Life is the best lesson. God will allow things to happen not in your favor just to teach you wisdom.

I'm so wrapped in you

I'm so wrapped in you, everything I have ever wanted, needed, dreamed...I have found it in you...I call you LIFE. There is nothing that compares to you.

Fortunes

A day is a span of time no one is wealthy enough to waste.

Don't underestimate yourself. Your social skills are needed by others at this time.

This is a night for love and affection.

You have a keen sense of humor and love a good time.

You will have good luck in your personal affiars this month.

The heart is wiser than the intellect.

Time is precious, but truth is more precious than time.

Good news of a long-awaited event will arrive soon.

Your life will be prosperous if you use your creativity.

You will make many changes before setting satisfactorily.

Luck is coming your way.

Good things come in small packages. One is coming to you.

Catch me if you can...Shooting Star

So he says that he wants to fall in love with me...I ask why he says why not, we make a good team...but he wants to remain the owner and the coach of his team and add me to the roster...No sir, unless I can be the manager and I get all the perks as the coach...we can be co-owners or something. Why does he need a team when he got me...I am the STAR! ...So he has cut some members of the team...I'm thinking the fewer the better...I know he sees clearer now...

If...

If - Destinys Child

Hop Along, Tag Along

So today was quite different. It started different from most Monday morning...FedEx @ 5:30, sort and after sort duties, then to the Bluff to shower and change to head to the office...well this morning was more like a wake up about 7:45am, roll onto the bad foot, hop along to get ready for a training at the office. One wake up call instead of 3. My driver arrived SILENTLY! No real convo, just a little about the weather and shit. I prayed before their arrival that I would keep my mouth and actions to myself. Things are so different. There is distance between us that I really don't understand but I do.

SideBar: See there was sort of a "break up, not so break up" that happen about a month or so back between our foursome. We were together but not together kinda thing. "His girl had a girlfriend", which was my girlfriend. ..No Homo...but my bitches are always the cutest cuties...I miss here...anyway...Things seem to be one way but really weren't, kinda hard to explain but not so much...anyway...feelings got hurt because of some informed decisions. I tried to cushion the blows but got punched in the face cause I was in the way. I kept my mouth closed in hope that all would work out or they would part HAPPILY...

To be continued...

After training, left the office to find lunch to end up back the office to eat lunch in cafeteria. MuzikLover calls, which upsets da Gentleman...The beefin' about something now quite sure what the problem is. I wanna know, but I don't...ya know? Anywho, leave to head to the Bluff to wait until therapy session. At 3pm head to therapy, then back to the Bluff so that da Gentleman can head to the home of the Aristocrats to be an alumni. Its Monday and I get no mexican...this sucks...:pouting::Meanwhile, I download so Destiny's Child from back in the day. Share a song with SC#4, who stops by...much love, my love...for some DMC. She alwaus give Mama something to think about as she heads to her new Kingdom::wink, wink::( I pay attention;)Now I am trying to find a way to help MuzikLover...good night

Signed,
Another day in this wonderful life of mine while fighting a losing battle

Before I started this blog...Part 2

03.15.09 @ 12:04am
It has been a while since my last entry. I can't believe how long its been. I realize that somethings will never change.Sweetheart is one of those things and it seems like the Hardest Working man in Nashville is wearing the same shoes. ChurchBoy has been a sweetheart lately that is something that I can get use too. Gentleman is a fast mover and new to this whole thing, especially since Tutts left me.

Just some random thoughts: the truth is when I close my eyes, I dream of you. The thought of you makes me smile. You take my breath away. You inspire me to better myself. Even though I am whole you complete me. I wrote a song for you but its untitled and has no words simply because there is no word or phrase that can describe you unless "ump" is a word. These are the feelings I already have for the love of my life even though we haven't met. I feel like everyone deserves to not only feel like this but have someone tell you that this is how they feel about you. When you read this I want you to think about the people you deal with on an intimate level and if this is not how you feel about them then try again. Life is not about who gave you the best nut and if you disagree then I pity you. The old folks say to live, laugh and love not hoe, cum and run...think about it. I laugh at people who choose money over love. Money don't care about you and it damn sure
won't keep you warm at night. I laugh at people who marry for money and wonder why it didn't work. Money is the true root of all evil so how can you base happiness off of it.Think about the next time you try to buy someone's affection. The best gift you can give is time, love, and understanding. The truth is that there are more love songs than fuck songs. The truth is if you have to change who you are or what you believe just to keep someone then they not worth having. The truth is if you are looking for the meaning of life, you won't find it in anything man made....just a few of my thoughts. April 19th@ 10:46pm


11:51am
I just want to be the customer. Its about time someone served me like I have been serving for all these years and in all these relationships. Is that so wrong. Hell naw cause I have went far beyond the call of duty or what you would ever do. You will never find another like me. Some may try but none will ever succeed. Please know there is only one me...don't be the next to miss out on this good thang. Maybe its suppose to be that way...just a thought.

Today is one of these days that make me wanna scream due to the fact that I don't have time::damn I just lost my fuckin thought. Damn

5/11 at 7:29pm
No non sense, no stress. I tell you about some folks. I can't get mad all I can do is laugh. Too funny...lmao...I don't wanna speak cause I am afraid of my reaction that will come from me.


05/22 at 9:16

What was I doing before you got here? Its so good that I can't remember and slick don't wanna go back to the before. I miss you and you have only been gone a few hours. I can't remember...familiarity is hard to get away from...familiar, convenience or real...love will find you.

Unbearable

Mama: I just want to say that my heart hurts...I give up...I've given up...
SiblingChild: What? Why? Who hurt you?
Mama: Everyone
SiblingChild: Who? What happen?
Mama:The whole team...the entire team...so I've given up sports...the sport...of love
SiblingChild: I don't understand...
Mama: Me either...I quit!
Signed,
Defeated

I regret…

I regret stopping by familiarity
…speaking out of courteously
…allowing you to meet the family
…inviting you into my life, my home, my comfort zone, my heart and me
…giving you opportunity to share my dreams
…placing you on this pedestal
…thinking that you were the answer to the prayer I stop praying
…it all. Damn. I regret.
…trying not to regret
…trying to forget what it was like before you
…I regret, regretting.
This will be a good one for the book. Never had a regret before. You were the thing that made me regret the one before you. Hopefully the thing after you will make me FORGET you, instead of REGRET you.
Glad I love me more,
Bri

Replaceable

It is so funny how people this that they are irreplaceable when really they are replaceable. It is so crazy how that you can care for someone. You expect for them to care for you in return after all the time spent and other factors. Then all of a sudden things all change somewhat like overnight. That's cool cause what you won't do someone will. mad because I graduated before you, mad because I had a job in my field before I graduated, mad that I have my life in more order than yours...this is why and how you know that you are replaceable. I do not believe in place holders but in this case that is what you might have been. I would rather be courting instead of dating! Please note this! Thanks for being the one to prepare me for the next one who will be if not is already the better one for me. I hope that 24 East and 75 South treats you as well as 40 West did... To the left to the left...just like you left to the left...Bye!

40 Runs West and East

40 Runs West and East....so I made that drive 40 west so pick up SiblingChild #1 and to make a change. SC #1 called me all day to make sure that I hadn't forgot about her. I even took SC #4 with me. ROADTRIP! Haven't hung out and had girl time and talk like that in a while. Made the trip there in 2 hours flat. First stop 1630, then 3795 and then grabbed some Dixie Queen with SC #1 and #4 With no intentions on seeing sweetheart, of course I called and he made the decision to met up. Had our regular sit and chat...this time it ended differently but similar than most encounters.Met up with my Braider and got the hair braid at the Memphis price with African quality! Grabbed my children and got back on 40 east. Singing, talking and riding...what a 24 hours! Needless to say Epiphanies happen during our talks about life, men and being happy! Are you an asset or liability? Do you compliment me? Can you make me feel secure and stable?!

Anything but HAPPY!

There comes a time in life when you have to let go of all pointless drama and the people who create it and the bad and focus solely on the good. After all, life is too short too be anything but happy!

Next Lifetime

Maybe next lifetime i will have all the love that I want from who I want it from. Maybe I will be the right shape, right size, right color with the right hair length. Maybe next lifetime none of this will matter because the hearts will meet before the mind and society takes over. maybe next lifetime I will have enough money to buy everything and anything that I want. Maybe next lifetime I will find the one just for me...the one that God made just for me! Maybe next lifetime I won't have so many do overs...Maybe next lifetime will be this lifetime...because this lifetime is not over yet!

Mad about something, could be nothing...

About to cry. Don't know why. My heart is tired of going and cumming...DAMN...Why won't the tears come. Too tired to do the things that I need to do.I will be the fool for you only if I choose. I choose you! I want you but I do not want the love and the drama that comes with. I knew that the bliss was only for the moment in time while my heart expects it to last forever. I know that he doesn't belong to me but just for the moment and that is fine as lone as the moment is for me when I want/need/crave it. At times I wish that the current placeholder held as much weight as the last. Too bad cause I know that I am as bad ass girlfriend/wifey and be a damn near perfect wife...if not PERFECT